NBC has indeed discovered how to turn losers into winners.
Despite all the money that changed hands tonight on The Biggest Loser: Second Chances finale—$250,000 for the not-so-big-anymore winner and $100,000 for the most successful among the previously eliminated contestants—a bit of bling stole the show.
"I love you with all my heart," the newly svelte Antoine Dove began, kneeling in front of fellow season-eight alum Alexandra White. "I've accomplished the impossible in my life because you were by my side. And now we're going to be able to live our lives together forever, if you'd accept this ring."
Cue the awesome!
But aside from the happily-ever-after subplot, the evening's main focus was still the massive physical (and, one would imagine, emotional) transformations achieved by the three finalists.
Would the Biggest Loser be 19-year-old Amanda Alauskas, who topped 49-year-old grandma Liz Young in the viewers' choice vote to become the third finalist; former rocker Danny Cahill, 39; or 31-year-old Rudy Pauls, who astutely pointed out that he "can't be a family man and be dead"?
Who's ready to rock 'n' roll?!
Danny was named the Biggest Loser after dropping 239 pounds from his 5-foot, 11-inch frame and weighing in at a positively skinny 191, looking 20 years younger in the process.
Overall, he shed a whopping 68.14 percent of his week-one weight of 430, more than enough to best Rudy, who shed 52.94 percent of his overall poundage.
But let's not worry about Rudy, people. He is officially way hot after dropping 234 pounds, leaving 208 on his lean, mean 6-foot, 4-inch frame.
Amanda, who said in her preliminary interviews that she couldn't remember being thin, lost 87 pounds to weigh in at 163, meaning her next trip down memory lane will be far more rewarding.
Kudos to them all.
But the fun didn't start and stop there.
Rebecca Meyer not only reached her goal, which was to have "a body that guys would chase after," but she dropped so much weight—139 pounds—she won the $100,000 for losing the highest percentage of body weight among the eliminated contestants.
Of course, Rebecca said on The Jay Leno Show a few weeks ago that the only guy she wanted chasing after her was fellow contestant Daniel Wright, who's much more suited to the task now that he's lost 252 pounds in two seasons on the show.
But she didn't run to him for a hug, or mention him, when she was announced as the winner. Hmmm...
There was also a special bonus for Shay Sorrells, who, at an entry weight of 476 pounds, was the heaviest contestant the show ever had "on the ranch" (a point of comparison that unfortunately makes them all sound like cattle).
The now 304-pound 29-year-old was invited to next season's finale in May, where she will be awarded $1,000 for every additional pound she loses, courtesy of Subway.
Another edition of The Biggest Loser: Couples premieres Jan. 5.
We love a story with a happy ending. Wonder how the tale of Tiger Woods and his family is going to turn out...