Serious stuff, these semifinals.
Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne and Mya marched into the ballroom tonight knowing they had three dances ahead of them and little room for error if they wanted to be center stage on next week's finale.
First, each did a ballroom number, then a Latin dance containing a 15-second solo and finally the dance each couple had to prepare a few weeks ago in case they were forced into a results show dance-off.
So that's why Donny needed a sparkly green jacket!
Overall, we saw many impressive moves, some sharp hip action and a lot of energy, and any three of the four deserve a spot in the final (based on talent and/or personality).
Then again, you be the judge...
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
• Tango: This opener wasn't as smooth as Donny's Argentine tango from weeks ago. There's never any awkwardness when it comes to his character—you believe in every step he takes. But sadly, the footwork was sloppy, Kym got stuck in her dress (which ripped), his final dip was hesitant and the music was terrible for tango. And Donny knew it, prostrating himself and yelling heavenward before the judges even had a chance to lament the performance. "Pretty tragic," Bruno Tonioli called it.
• Samba: Yay, there was the Donny we know and love. He looked so much more comfortable the second time around, his postsamba howl resembling triumph rather than frustration. Not only did he not break a hip when he dove underneath Kym at the end, but he also revived our flagging spirits. (Lordy, this was a long show! The producers obviously didn't care that there was also a New Moon premiere demanding our attention to across town...)
• Jitterbug: Now there's a fellow who loves to bounce. "Upbeat, full of vigor," Bruno said. "Another winner," added Len.
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough
• Viennese waltz: Probably the most heartfelt performance the model's given so far. Her dress was ice-blue but the romance was red-hot, largely thanks to Derek's choreography—but also because of an extra dose of grace Joanna brought to the floor. "This waltz had the grace of angels in heaven," said Bruno, and Len Goodman observed that the couple's hold "is as good as any professional's."
• Cha-cha: We could have done without Joanna lip-syncing along to "Can't Get You Out of My Head," but otherwise...nice 'n' sassy. Len could have withstood a bit more cheekiness. Bruno, however..."Ooh, I just can't get you out of my bed!" he exclaimed. "You are just natural sex. It just oozes from everywhere."
• Salsa: Joanna grew a pair of hips we didn't even know about! She may have knocked the wind out of Derek, hence his slight hiccup at the end. "Hot, tasty and full of spice!" Len said. But if the judges want to see her in the finals so much, why did they give her...
Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel
• Rumba: Kelly looked utterly stunning—longer, leaner and sexier than ever, her best look of the season so far. And we're happy to say that she moved exceedingly well, also. She didn't let the pressure get to her this time, even during the 15-second solo required of each contestant during the Latin round. (Well, it wasn't anything to write home about, but she made it work.) But somehow, the judges didn't see it. Carrie Ann Inaba admitted that she was brought to tears by Kelly's magical quality, but Len and Bruno brushed her sensuality aside like so much lint. "You have turned into an absolutely competent dancer," Len said. Jeez, why not just hit her in the face?
• Quickstep: As Bruno would say, "Go, Kelly, go!" Like a wee blond David, Kelly came out and conquered the ballroom Goliath known as the quickstep, which has slain many a celeb before her. "There [are] two people I'm sure are really happy," resident father figure Len said. "That's your mum and me." "You nailed it," agreed Carrie Ann. All that praise accounted for Miss Osbourne's highest score of the season.
• Cha-cha: With the show speeding to a close, their routine was short in time but long on cuteness. "It may have been a quickie, but it worked for me!" Bruno exclaimed.
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
• Waltz: There was no hesitation in this waltz. Mya's consistency has been one of the high points this season, and she did not disappoint tonight. She's still not the easiest gal to emotionally connect with out there, but having Dmitry at her side makes the "Ghetto Superstar" songbird more lovable, and she never ceases to cut a beautiful figure. "I thought it was an absolute joy to watch," Len raved, while Bruno called it "love set to music." Carrie Ann sensed a lack of connection in the hold. Whatever.
• Salsa: About as professional-looking as it gets. Mya was sexy, spicy and in top form. Not to mention, hers was the only Latin solo of the night with any real heat. "Sensational!" growled Bruno. "Hot beyond belief," added Carrie Ann. "Tutti-frutti, what a booty!" Len joined in. "I was mesmerized by your buttocks, couldn't stop looking at it, I've got to admit it." Alrighty then…
• Cha-cha: Short, but adorable, sexy and just lovely technically. "I was disappointed...because I wanted it to go on a bit longer!" Len said. Bruno bested him, though: "It was like an action-packed trailer for a blockbuster! And I want to be first in line to see the whole feature!"
The voters have their work cut out for them, having to sort through a lot of great dancing, some not-even-good moments and the vibes they've been getting from each contestant all season. Whitney Houston will be performing on next week's finale and, if nothing else, the four remaining stars don't want to miss that!
Here's how the leaderboard stacked up tonight, combining all three scores:
Mya & Dmitry: 87
Joanna & Derek: 81
Kelly & Louis: 78
Donny & Kym: 74
Come on, you're just a little bit curious to see what was going on at the New Moon premiere, aren't you?