Week seven and the going is getting rougher on Dancing With the Stars.
A few of the remaining celebs have flirted with the top, only to fall short of a committed, see-ya-next-week-same-time relationship.
Michael Irvin entered this week of competition hanging on by the hair of his footballs. Time is running out for Kelly Osbourne to recapture the potential she showed weeks ago before she started hemorrhaging confidence. And Mya just can't seem to get on Len Goodman's good side.
Did anything change this week? And what did Kelly do to get Bruno Tonioli up on the table like that?
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova: To think, if the retired football star hadn't survived last week's dance-off, we never would have seen his purple-on-lavender suit—or his masterful fox-trot. Michael is living, breathing proof that if you fake it long enough, you might end up really knowing how to do it. Carrie Ann called the performance "gracious" and "fluid," while Len, the athlete's biggest fan these days, deemed it "brilliant."
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson: The result was to be expected when Donny took on the jaunty quickstep: an adorable, energetic performance. But though the ubiquitous bounce was there, his footwork was sloppy at times, making 9s and 10s an impossibility. Len, the ol' traditionalist, loved—just loved—that Donny and Kym came out "full-bore, from start to finish, a full-on quickstep."
Mark Dacascos & Anna Trebunskaya: Lacey Schwimmer was laid up with the dratted flu that's been tearing through DWTS this season, leaving Anna to get Mark whirling around the floor, samba-style. Well, she got him moving, but...What a weird dance. It looked like a samba in slo-mo, very herky-jerky rather than the smooth shimmyfest it should have been. But though Mark has had been choppy at times, we're calling foul on the choreography. Anna spent too much time tossing her head around and having Mark chase her around on his knees. And his usually mighty martial-arts kicks just looked half-assed and out of place here.
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin: Now that was fluid movement. The dynamic duo positively glided across the floor, probably already knowing that Len wasn't going to like their fox-trot's silhouetted intro—and totally not giving a damn. We weren't loving the white suit that Mya commissioned for Dmitri, but her raspberry-colored satin gown was sufficiently distracting. Sure enough, though, Len thought there were "too many gimmicks" and gave them a 7—which, really, was ridiculous. "Len is officially smoking crack," Carrie Ann declared. "It was like your feet were tied together, like you were floating on ice," she told the pair.
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff: Killer jive. It was Aaron's best dance to date and by far the best of the night so far. With all that energy, coupled with his transparently fierce desire to prove himself, the kid probably wouldn't have stopped bouncing if you had loaded his pockets with rocks. But with that great choreography, who would have wanted him to stop? "To the galaxy and beyond!" praised Bruno, while Len thought he had "enough energy to light up Hollywood...Wild but clean, fast but it had control, fun and it wasn't slapstick...I was tempted to dust off the 10 paddle." And he did, as did Bruno.
Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel: Kelly finally seems to have plugged the leak in her confidence. Her salsa performance was a major improvement over what she's been churning out the last few weeks. Even though she flubbed the steps a few times, she more than compensated by nailing the tricky dips and turns Louis came up with. And after Bruno had turned in his own performance, Kelly thanked him for calling her beige. Quite the wakeup call.
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough: Except for a noticeable hop when there should have been a graceful extension, Joanna cut a stunning figure out there. We felt that some of the poses were too posed and didn't melt into one another as they should have, but overall this rumba was romantic, and Derek didn't go for any of that cheap-trick choreography to make it sexy.
Team Paso (Aaron, Mark, Michael, Mya): Hard-hitting and intense. Michael was, as expected, the weakest technically, but they all sort of blended in together, so no one stood out like a sore thumb. Mark was far stronger in this round, but Anna T. still had him trailing her on his knees half the time. Aaron and Mya were the awesomest of them all, though.
Team Tango (Donny, Joanna, Kelly): OK, now that was hot. The sextet danced a tight tango—and bonus points for the synchronized kicks when they all came together at the end (though they technically lost a point from Carrie Ann for a—what else?—forbidden lift). Each solo was as good as the next, and Kelly both looked and danced the part of fierce señorita.
Here's tonight's leaderboard combining solo and group dance scores:
Joanna & Derek: 55
Aaron & Karina: 53
Donny & Kym: 52
Kelly & Louis: 52
Mya & Dmitry: 49
Michael & Anna D: 47
Mark & Anna T: 43
Rod Stewart performs on tomorrow's double-elimination show.