Action-sports jocks skating and biking up and down 30-foot ramps provide a refreshing breath of masculinity after all the T&A I experienced earlier at the Playboy Mansion. With an ambulance waiting nearby for any fatal spills, the professional boarders and BMXers enthusiastically entertain guests at the ESPYs Extreme Powered by Vizio.

The parking lot of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel now sports silver-plated buffets, two ginormous ramps and a viewing area where football players and celebrities like Luke Perry can watch the extreme action. Earlier, the 15th Anniversary ESPY gift bag was unveiled with a spectacular light show. Now, people like Kelly Monaco, Bai Ling and Brody Jenner are heading over to the Tropicana poolside bar to get the party going. “You know when you go to an ESPY party it’s going to be fun,” Brody tells me. “They’re badass because it’s not just celebrities, it’s a fun crowd: beautiful girls, guys that are cool...” True. The space is not as celeb-infested as the last barbecue event I attended, but Brody has no trouble bringing the young stars to his VIP table—like Hilary Duff and her sis, Haylie, who have turned into quite the party duo. A new Paris and Nicky Hilton in the works, perhaps?

Luckily, we don’t have to worry about any DUIs with these girls. “Wanna shot?” someone asks Hil. “No thanks,” the underage pop star coyly smiles between drags of a Camel light. She’s legal to smoke, though I’m hoping it’s more of a once-in-a-while vice. We don’t need another raspy Lindsay Lohan on the big screen.

By 11 p.m. Tropicana is at capacity. Party guests can head to the inside room—where rapper T.I. will soon be performing—but nobody else is coming by the pool. Unless you’re a 6-foot-1 stunner. After taking pictures with fashion setter Camilla Belle, Maria Sharapova struts toward the bouncer who will not let her in. One huff later, the tennis star is escorted through a side entrance. At the ESPYs, Maria is like Paris Hilton.  

I’d love to hear T.I., but it’s so crowded inside that I decide to ditch the sports players for tonight’s more low-key crowd at Teddy's. Inside, my pal tells me she was just at the W Hotel for Hollywood Fantasy Experience’s Fires-Ever Fantasy Poker Night, a tournament that benefits the Lili Claire Foundation. “Remember that Office episode where Kevin says he’s really good at poker?” she asks me of Brian Baumgartner’s character. “Well, turns out he is in real life. He won the whole tourney!” You go, Kev.

A real treat waits for me when I leave the club: Derek Fisher. Though I don’t get to talk to him since he’s getting in the car, brushing shoulders with one of my favorite past Lakers makes my ESPY experience complete. Though the show isn’t till tomorrow, I think I’m going to end this one on a high note. Game over.