You never know who might pop up on CBS' The Late Late Show.
James Corden was reminded of that Monday while delivering his opening monologue, when the 39-year-old host kicked things off by mocking the first edition of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Magazine. "For those of you who don't know, a magazine is where you print out the internet and then you trick people into buying it," he joked. "The cover features Gwyneth Paltrow lying down in mud. Look at that! Wow! I can't believe Gwyneth Paltrow beat out the competition to be on the cover of the new Gwyneth Paltrow magazine. She's covered in thick, brown liquid."
Corden even "fixed the cover," changing its title from Goop to Poop.
"I gotta say, looking at this magazine, pretending to be down to earth has been Gwyneth Paltrow's best performance yet. Do you know what I mean?" Corden laughed. "Here's a fun fact about Goop: Before being named Goop, it was originally called Insufferable Quarterly. Inside the magazine they showcase the healing powers of crystals. Spoiler alert: There aren't any!"
Unbeknownst to him, Paltrow had emerged from behind a curtain and was listening intently as she slammed her magazine. Eventually, enough was enough, so she coughed to announce her presence. "Gwyneth!" Corden said, his voice raising a few octaves. "What are you doing here?"
"Just wanted to stop by," she replied. "You know."
"How much of that did you hear?" Corden asked.
"All of it," Paltrow said. Rather than apologize to the actress, Corden doubled down. "Right. Well, if I'm being honest I didn't say anything out of line," he fired back. "We're all thinking it!"
Paltrow kept her cool, saying, "I think you're being a little harsh. There are a lot of people who listen to the advice we give at Goop. Like, so many people!" Corden challenged her to "name one," and she did just that—in fact, she named three people. One by one, Corden's team members revealed they live and die by Goop's guidelines, embracing everything from cupping to vaginal steams. "All right! I'll hold my hands up! You've proven your point. I'm sorry...Maybe I need to be more open-minded," he said. "Maybe I need to actually try some of these things."
Corden then whispered to Paltrow that he has an issue she might be able to help him with. "I could show you right now," he said. "Doctors have said that they've never seen anything like it."
Paltrow asked him to keep it in his pants, but promised, "Goop has got you covered!"
The actress wasn't kidding, as Corden decided to end the segment by taking a vaginal steam.