True Detective

HBO

There ain't no party like a creepy sex party!

That's what Ani (Rachel McAdams) discovered tonight on True Detective when her continued investigation into Casper's death led her to pretend to be her sister at an exclusive and terrifying sex party in some fancy house. She had to give up her phone and all her belongings for the night, ingest a quick spray of what is apparently pure molly, allow herself to be strip-searched, and finally, provide some "easy sex" to the rich asshole partygoers.

Sounds so fun, doesn't it?! How do we get an invite to one of these shindigs?

We aren't entirely sure why so many women would go to this party, but alas, we live in a much happier, more brunch-centric  SoCal where we are only begrudgingly willing to give up our cell phones for that TV taping our visiting family member dragged us to.

While Ani didn't stay at the party long, she did accomplish a couple of things. First of all, she experienced a totally terrifying hallucination/flashback to her childhood when she was lured into a van by a scary man, which might explain a few things about her. Secondly, and more importantly, she found her missing girl, and managed to get her out of there alive (though not exactly well). She also kicked a guy in the crotch and killed another guy before escaping with the help of Ray (Colin Farrell) and Paul (Taylor Kitsch). (Aren't you proud of us for using character names instead of actor names?!)

True Detective

HBO

Speaking of Ray and Paul, only one of them really did anything this episode. Paul was mostly concerned with the investigation (imagine that!) while Ray had other things on his mind. Thing #1 was that ten years ago, he killed the wrong guy in an attempt to get revenge for his wife's rape, thanks to Frank's (Vince Vaughn) incorrect info.

Frank didn't seem all that concerned about that, since in his mind, Ray was always going to kill a guy. The fact that he actually did it had nothing to do with Frank.

Ray did visit the actual rapist in prison, and threatened to cut off his lips and his balls and pretty much everything else. He then went to hang out with his son, but his son just wanted to watch Friends, like some lame-o.

"Friends? That show that's like 20 years old?" Ray asks, and we laugh, because not even the biggest Friends haters would have to actually ask that.  

Ray recovered from being forced to watch the best show ever by doing a lot of coke, doing some pull-ups, dancing, crying, making a huge mess, and calling his ex-wife to tell her that she wins, and he won't fight her for custody.

So there's that.

Meanwhile, Frank and his wife (whose name we can never remember) went to comfort Stan's family, while we still weren't entirely sure who Stan was and why we're supposed to care about him.

True Detective

HBO

Frank also learned that Irina, the prostitute who pawned Casper's stuff, was hired to do that by some mysterious cop. Frank tried to meet up with her, but she had been killed by some Mexican gangsters. Bummer.

As for Paul, he was very productive, investigation-wise. He learned that the blue diamonds were stolen from an LA jewelry store during the 1992 Los Angeles riots. The robbery also left two kids orphaned, and we don't quite know what those kids have to do with anything, but you can probably bet that they're going to be important somewhere in the final two episodes of the season.

In the end, that episode was no fun to watch but a) we felt like we understood what was going on and b) a couple of things actually happened, which is such an improvement that we actually have hope that this may end in some sort of interesting fashion.

And now we are off to theorize endlessly about diamonds, prostitutes, and whether Colin Farrell looks better with or without his mustache. 

True Detective airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.

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