Can't believe it. You guys really voted Robert Pattinson as the stud you'd most like to see naked. Johnny Depp wasn't even a close second! So that only means one thing: It has to happen, and we'll try to help you fulfill your nudie dreams. You see a smidgen of the guy in Little Ashes, but that's hardly enough. We have the perf flick already in mind for the Twilight hottie:
Steven Soderbergh is in the works putting together his gay little Liberace flick. He's totally into it. Campy little pet project thing about how Liberace totally screwed with—in every sense of the word—his handsome chauffeur. Not top-burner, A-list stuff, but it's pretty kinky, so that means for sure S.S. will see to it happening, whether he's at the helm or not. Now, Mr. Pattinson's truly becoming the Spielberg of the acting world—the kid is never going to get noticed by the Academy playing these fluff blockbuster movies. Get real. So do something drastic, dude!
See, Patty-boy's probably going to have to pull a Jake Gyllenhaal or a Tom Hanks or a Sean Penn and play gay to get any real recognition, so why not throw the nude scenes in with it and satisfy everybody? R.P. should play the limo driver, and George Clooney (Soderbergh's right-hand, go-to guy) should play Liberace. I mean, even though Michael Douglas is already rumored to take the lead part, we're so over his flabby ass and want to see George's instead. With Bobby's, too! How 'bout it, Robert? Game?