Let's get something straight. Brainiac funnyman Harold Ramis wrote Animal House. He also wrote Stripes and Caddyshack. These are all movies that are as wild and crazy as they are smart. So-called dumb comedies usually have someone really, really smart behind them, right? Accepted, meanwhile, is so messy that it feels like it was peeled off the floor of a bathroom stall.
It's moldy and cold. Nobody smart is anywhere in sight.

Meet articulate semidork Justin Long, a college reject who panics and makes a fake college called South Harmon Institute of Technology. Nickname? S.H.I.T. Ha! Masses of other rejects arrive, setting up a great premise--which is why this movie's such a huge disappointment. Instead of exploring what happens when teenagers embrace authority and try to create a school, the movie cuts to bad preppy guys who plot to dismantle S.H.I.T. The movie raises one question--What would kids do if they ran a college?--and answers another: Why do preps suck so much, man?

There's never a sense of what's really going on at S.H.I.T. Director Steve Pink serves up a few stereotypes--the weirdo who cooks crazy meals, the neurotic chick who finds peace through yoga--and gets right back to the party. But if the party never ends (and it doesn't), there's no time for anything interesting to happen.

Even worse, our hero Long is like Ferris Bueller without the depth, and we're wondering, from the first 30 seconds, how a guy so well adjusted and quick on his feet gets rejected from college.

Moviegoers aren't nitwits. Animal House and Old School are about college, where people go crazy, change their minds, fall in love and take risks. Accepted only looks like it's about college. Really, it's lost, too stupid to be called a college movie and too pseudo-intellectual to be a trade-school movie.
--Caroline Kepnes
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