Full House, John Stamos

ABC

What day is today? Today is John Stamos' birthday!

Now, if you didn't read that lead sentence to the tune of the infamous Katsopolis family Mother's Day song, you might not be a big enough Full House fan to read this post. Or we're just total Tanner freaks and no one in their right mind would remember that song. Either one.

But back to the task at hand: Celebrating the anniversary of the birth of one great John Stamos. It was 52 years ago today that the most beautiful head of hair in history graced the world with its presence. Mankind has never been the same since. Stamos has had all sorts of admirable accomplishments since joining the world, like starring in that sexual music video and bringing Dannon Oikos to the masses. 

But really we'd like to take this time to praise Uncle Jesse. As much as he'd like to pretend otherwise, Mr. Katsopolis is John's most lasting legacy thus far in life. (Besides his hair, of course). And not only did Jesse bring us many confusing dreams as a child, he also taught us all sorts of valuable life lessons. They may not be of the wholesome, always-remember-to-do-your-laundry variety like Danny's lessons, but they are important nonetheless.

Because really, if you don't have good hair, what are you anyway?

1. In a marriage, one must work to keep the bedroom fires burning. It's all about chemistry. 

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2. To truly know what another person is going through, one must walk a mile in their shoes baby bump. #Equality.

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3. Cooking is, like, really hard. 

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4. Seriously, sometimes you make stuff that tastes like s--t. But it's all part of growing up, right?

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5. But you should never be too grown up. Pranks were invented for a reason—use them often.

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6. One must always be free to express themselves through the art of dance.

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7. But also don't be scared to judge people who totally suck at dancing. You were put in their lives to help them.

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8. Even the most attractive people, when embarking on a new career, have to start at the bottom. But the only way to go is up!

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9. Always...we repeat ALWAYS...have a catch phrase. 

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10. Exercise is the key to good health and happiness.

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11. If you have a guitar, all the ladiezz will melt for you.

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12. Or a piano. Pianos work too.

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13. Don't be afraid to stand up to bullies, whomever they may be.

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14. A good tickle is the cure to any ailment.

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