At first glance, Dancing With the Stars' first elimination of the season pitted scorned reality-TV mom Kate Gosselin against national treasure Buzz Aldrin, who at 80 isn't much of a mover and shaker anymore.
Neither is fun to watch and Buzz scored a 12 to Gosselin's 15 last night, but it was Gosselin who may have turned off billions (well, only 25 million watched, but that's what the Internet is for) by treating partner Tony Dovolani like a kid who needs to learn how to listen to mommy.
But then, Pamela Anderson learned she was in the bottom two...
And it turns out we were wrong, all wrong!
Shannen Doherty was the celeb who came up short tonight, falling into the bottom two next to Pam and then being booted in the show's final minutes.
It's just like when Brenda Walsh came up empty in the senior yearbook poll!
"I think that dancing isn't really my thing," Doherty, who had a combined 38 on two dances, said. "I'm an actor and it's what I love to do. I did this for my dad and I did exactly what I wanted. And I think it's fate, my partner is hurt."
Oh yeah, surprise No. 2: Mark Ballas apparently hurt his knee in rehearsal and an MRI showed he had separated a muscle from the bone and would be out at least six weeks, replaced by dad Corky Ballas if Shannen had moved on.
"To be honest, I wouldn't want to go on without Mark," she said.
Well, she doesn't have to.
Pam and Dancing newcomer Damien Whitewood were able to breathe a sigh of relief, though they've got to be wondering, "Wha' happened?!"
But, as Jon Gosselin slowly starts looking like the lesser of two evils once again, the question remains: Are people tuning in to support Kate Gosselin, or are they just hungry for more wince-worthy TV?
Have you voted to save one show from TV oblivion yet? No? Well, get to it!