Fergie-Ferg is so real, in fact, that she still has accidents just like everyone else—well, maybe not just like everyone else, or at least not anyone over three.
Ms. A-licious herself performed an hourlong set on Thursday night at the launch party for Lyric Culture: Revolution—a rock 'n' roll apparel line inspired by artists and their lyrics from the '60s and '70s. F., whose curly coiffure was covered by a black fedora hat, happily posed for pics on the black, grunge carpet outside Avalon.
Inside, however, Fergie's peeps were singing a different tune: no photographs of the glam-gal on stage.
Yo, what gives?
Well, according to one grossed-out photog, the no-photo rule is a result of Fergilicious' tendency to pee on herself during live gigs.
"I have seen her do this in the past," says one of the lens guys who was cast aside right before the performance began—"something about giving it her all."
Luckily, however, Fergie managed to stay dry during the somewhat impressive performance—even with the heavy shakin' of her now notorious humps.
Does Josh buy her waterproof sheets, though, I wonder?
You are so rude to be bashing Vanessa Hudgens. Get your stories straight before you go mouthing off. By the way, she probably didn't show up for her first High School rehearsal because she was at Quail Glen Elementary School presenting a check. So, get your damn stories straight before you go mouthing off.
Lisa
Dear So Off:
Does your mother know you’re reading my column? Sorry if you can’t handle the Awful Truth, kiddo.
I read in your column today that Stedman "never" goes to Maui. Although I adore you, I have to let you know that I saw him with my own eyes at the airport in Maui just after Thanksgiving, so he's been there at least once lately!
M.
Boston
Just passin' on the goss from across the Pacific. Besides, sure it was Mr. Winfrey you saw? Somethin’ tells me O. don’t fly commercial.
Trying to smear the Dalai Lama for enjoying the beauty of flowers was a really cheap shot. He is a truly holy man reverenced by many for his compassion and humility. Stick to Paris Hilton and her ilk for your nasty comments.
Henry
Madison, Wisconsin
Didn’t mean to offend you, doll, but chill out, already. Nothing wrong with stoppin’ to smell the roses, if you’re a religious guru or goy, right?
Love ya babe, but calling a woman a bitch (Oprah for Prez!) is never cute. We're asking rappers to stop calling us that, so the offensiveness of the term is not diminished because my fave gossip maven uses it.
Christy
Louisville, Kentucky
I call men bitches, too, darling.
If I were a wayward celebrity, I'd want Elliot Mintz on my side.
Ana
NYC
Pocket-size pit-bull publicists like Elliott are gonna replace Tinkerbell toys as the must-have accessory of choice for these Tinseltown gals with legal troubs.
I want to know whatever happened between Jennifer Esposito and Bradley Cooper! Do you think it has anything to do with Bradley?
Mia
Tokyo
I don't think these irreconcilable differences are due to Brad's lack of interest in the sack. In H-town, four months is just about average, ain't it? Besides, from what I hear, it was mutual.
No, the fruity Fey-man ain't Justin Timberlake. Think less pseudo-butch.
Al Reynolds never seems too interested in Miss Jones. Just wondering if you know something we all suspect, but don't actually know.
Jackie
Indianapolis
Can you blame the boy? Honestly, would you be gearing for marathon mattress sessions with someone who looks like an overly siphoned librarian fresh from a Macy's makeover?
What's wrong with Jennifer Aniston? Why aren't her movies being made? I hope you have the guts to answer these questions truthfully.
MP
Los Angeles
She's not that great of an actress, face it.
My guess for Whore-tense Past-tense from One Overshot Blind Vice is Jenna Jameson. Love you!
Angela
South Bend, Indiana
Wrong-a-rooney, hon-pie. Think far less booby and semi-more brainy.
Dubya "took potshots" at the queen's age? Oh, Ted, get your facts straight. We all know the Prez is a bumbling, gaffe-prone idiot. That "potshot" was unintentional. You need to correct your inaccurate statement.
Jean
St. Louis
You’re possibly right, and perhaps G.W.B.’s slip with Liz II could have been Freudian in nature, but I think that’s about as likely as me marrying Prince Andrew.
I wanted to give a guess on the Blind Vice for Whore-tense Past-tense. Is it Mischa Barton? She's certainly skeletal, her fashion sense is quite suspect, she doesn't have a TV show anymore and, of course, she dated Brandon Davis for a couple of years.
Angie
Portland, Maine
W.T.P.T. has never been on The O.C.
In all seriousness, Ted, what the hell is going on between Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson? They've been photographed together a lot lately, but I seriously do not get a couple vibe from them...at all.
Nick
Los Angeles
Oh, please, the byoots are shooting a movie together, and you know how on-set pairings, real or imagined, are always good for publicity. Right, Sienna?
Mazel tov on your recent engagement announcement, I hope happiness abounds eternally for you and Jon Powell. What with Brangelina, Vaughniston, Bennifer and the likes, I like the sound of Powted for you and the J.P. man. I didn't want you to feel left out.
Coco
Plano, Texas
Powted? It makes us sound like a fagola dietary supplement, or something. Thanks, though!
My cousin and his partner now have three little girls! They just got back recently from a Rosie cruise and had the time of their lives. Any children in your future?
Martha
Overland Park, Kansas
Darling, I appreciate the breeder sentiment, but I’ve got a 20-pound cat with bad breath, worse manners and a dirty ass he’s always draggin’ on my white carpet—can’t think I’d do much better with baby humans.
You can come up to Canada and get hitched while you're waiting for Ah-nuld to get a clue...or for hell to freeze over, which is a bit more likely!
Cheryl
Toronto
Thanks so much to the zillions of folks who wished Jon and I such sweet and supportive thoughts—we really were both quite touched. And if this makes some of you feel like losing your cookies right about now, please, whatever you do, aim toward that dude with the bad dye job in Sacramento.