From Tiger Wood’s surprisingly necessary goon-guard patrol to Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson’s less startling seduction dance, have we got athletic and thorny goss for you! Plus, Camp Lindsay Lohan doesn’t put out the fire. Ready to burn, babies?
Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Andrew Wilson

Jack Plunkett/

Luke and Andrew Wilson may claim to moi that Owen is the most mischievous of their clan, but O-hon's actions said otherwise Thursday night. All the Wilson boys were celebrating their new collaboration, The Wendell Baker Story (more on that dubious effort latuh), but the O.W. was on his bestest behavior.
Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson

Lester Cohen/

And maybe it had something to do with a certain femme guest who just happened to be at the after-do. Yep, Owen's arm candy chica of choice as of late, Kate Hudson, was there. Kate skipped the premiere earlier (can't say I blame her, like, at all), but K. & O. were way cute 'n' cuddly at the Sofitel postsoiree.

The on-off-on duo held hands and hung out together all night. Owen was even strokin' Kate's back as they chatted with fellow partyers. Could the Butterscotch Stallion really be broken for good?

Oh, and as for the possible pregnancy certain New Yorkers swore they saw during a recent Kate sighting back East? So not true, as Ms. H.'s bod's better than evah in person—and she was sippin' on a glass of champagne. Cheers, you two!

Lindsay Lohan, Calum Best, Dina Lohan

Jamie McCarthy/

Not long after some sordid pics of recently rehabbed Lindsay Lohan jammin' in the toilet surfaced in News of the World last Saturday, L.L. handled the sitch like any smart, young, burned-at-every-end starlet would: She hit Les Deux! Ah, perfect T-town nonthinking to the hilt. Love it!

And nothing like a little nightlife action to dull the press pain, huh, hon?

James Blunt

Theo Wargo/

Joining Ms. El that evening was none other than James Blunt, just one of her many Brit-boy accoutrements. The two naughty types arrived together and spent the quasi-balmy night drinkin' and flirtin' at a table upstairs. Linds-doll only ventured outside long enough to stomp her Jimmy Choos at the bouncer to let in a random, rather unattractive older gentleman—business partner, perhaps?

Heidi Montag

John Shearer/

Also at the same haute spot was Heidi Montag from The Hills, showin' off her new curves—more tasteful than expected, I'd say, and others did, too. Heidi stood in line, solo, to use the bathroom...Wonder where her nooky partner of the annum was?   

Oh! And the very next day, Linds-babe jetted off to New Yawk, sans Blunt-hon, to promote her new movie, Georgia Rule, which I'm hearing is a total turkey, but I don't care, I can't wait to see it.
Lindsay Lohan, Callum Best, Dina Lohan

Jamie McCarthy/

And while Jane Fonda icily answered Dina Lohan's red carpet Q's about advice for her wild child, seems La Lohan's already found herself a new man in a New Yawk minute—a dude who's hardly going to rein L2 in, we all know that. Sorry, James, but Linds has been cooing anew with Calum Best, whom she's been lusciously, lick-'em-up linked to before.

Lindsay loves recycling amour partners as much as she adores making new friends in the powder room, eh?

"She wasn't doing anything ." 

Above extremely expensive quote is from one of Lindsay Lohan's outrageously paid mouthpieces. Said press rep was speaking out for the micromedia-minded L.L., who was caught in a club bathroom recently, supposedly putting naughty things someplace.

When I pressed if said pics were legit, said PR verbiage was the weird response. What's in the watercooler at Camp Lohan, already? 

Readers, any guesses?

Paris Hilton

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Seems Paris Hilton isn't the only H-town type reportedly receiving death threats. While Paris is supposedly getting threatening MySpace messages from current Lynwood inmates, another celeb is dealing with just as scary stuff.
Tiger Woods

Sam Greenwood/

Apparently, Tiger Woods now travels with eight security guards 24/7. "Four are dressed as security, and four in golf clothes," say busy-birdie types, who hobnobbed with Tiger when he hit the Players Championship at Sawgrass recently.

"Tiger gets death threats at every tournament he plays in," they swear. "Most are from crazy KKK types." How hideously horrible! Maybe Tiger-poo should hire some of Britney's gun-packin' goon-guards to protect him?

Gene Hackman

Jamie McCarthy/

Definitely not needing any extra security, or so I'm told, is awarded-out-the-wazoo Gene Hackman. Gene's got a crib right on said swanky course and likes to park his butt on the green.

"He sits out in his lawn chair and nobody recognizes him!" marvels Desk Country Club. Guess double-Oscar-winning actors just aren't so interesting these days, huh? 

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