The TV industry is such the heinous biz, no? Mean, backstabbing, scheming schmucks are omnipresent. And whispered scuttlebutt after whispered scuttlebutt spreads like Taco Bell grease through Britney Spears’ digits every time something bad goes down on one of these silly but sometimes watchable shows.
Take Dancing with the Stars, for ince. Ever watch? I do. On occasion. Though not really often enough to be terribly broken up by the following total insider blab: Somebody integral to the show’s about to get canned. "It’s thisclose," insists a key mover ‘n’ shaker within Dancing’s hierarchy brass.
Hmmm. Whoever could it be?
I'm sure you naughty readers are going straight to such calf-exposing thoughts as Cheryl Burke, Emmitt Smith and Drew Lachey. Or even Mario Lopez and Desperate Mario-rumor-gal Eva Longoria! Better yet, you suddenly conjuring up thoughts of that de-lish but downright misreported showdown between Shanna Moakler and Paris Hilton?
Maybe, my sweetie-sasses.
Let's just say, if you guessed any of the above Dancing fixtures, you may or may not be in the wrong arena of the show. Think more, uh, above it all, as it were.
"As soon as we find the replacement," barked a heartless DWTS big dawg, the about-to-be-replaced member of the highly rated team is gonna be toast (the producers are hoping by, at least, the start of the next season in March 2007). Like I said, heartless biz, ain't it?
And remember, you heard it here at this SOB's column first.
And readers? Any ideas who it is? ‘Cause I know. Oh, crap, is that bitchy of me to say?
Anderson Cooper, walkin’ and tawkin’ in the Rotten Apple. The silver stud-muffin was "shorter than expected," insist particularly sour New Yawkers, and he was heading down 58th Street with a colleague by his side and a cell on his ear. The Coop was wearing jeans and a down, black parka and was overheard discussing a piece "Diane" just did and its editing style. Sawyer, perhaps? Also takin’ the mean streets of InWhySee was...
Julianna Margulies, strollin’ in SoHo with a male amigo. The lovely J.M. was low-key in jeans, black jacket and ponytail. ‘Course, Ms. M. is, per usual, gorgeous with no makeup—very unassuming, as well. Far more splashy, over-the-top types surely included...
Larry King, hittin’ up the Grove for the holidays. L.K. was with his wife and son and "has liver spots the size of Frisbees and walks with a slight limp," according to my horrified onlooker. "The CNN makeup and lighting department must work overtime on that guy!" Meow! Desk Bitchy further reports the King wife-unit is far more attractive but "looks pulled and stuffed like a turkey." How very tacky of me to repeat. Certainly accused of looking the same, at times, would be that former actor also spotted at the same place, none other than bathing-suit strutter...
Kirstie Alley, grabbin’ an Italian bite to eat. Kirstie was, according to Desk Bitchy’s sicko sistuh, wearing a Pucci print dress and rocking a purse that "resembled a giant disco ball." Talk about subtle! Other than the tacky ensemble, K.A. "looked great," (yeah, right) as she ate with an assistant, some teenagers and a tiny dog. How Hell-Ay cliché. Other makeover mavens included...
Ashlee Simpson, eavesdropping during her din-din. Pace in Laurel Canyon. A waiter was talking to a table about a movie he was starting in Shreveport, Louisiana. "My sister is doing a movie there right now, how funny," Ash chimed in from another table. "I wonder why Shreveport is so popular?" The diner then explained the tax breaks to the gal with the "raspy and cute speaking voice." Ash was eatin’ with a non-famous male, by the by, as was...
Eric Dane, aka "McSteamy." The hot Grey’s Anatomy doc was lunchin’ at Hugos on Friday with some dude. Eric had on a long-sleeve, dark crewneck, jeans and his signature beard, while a very preggers Diane Farr waited for her takeout nearby, about as exiting as...
Mel Gibson, at the Harmony Gold screening room, City of Fallen Reputations, for the Australians in Film showing of M.G.'s latest over-the-top to-do, Apocalypto. But more on that predictably ridiculous nonsense tomorrow, can you wait? (I sure as hell can.)