Alba Coming Apart, Thanks to Infant

Jessica Alba vs. Daughter: round one

By Peter Gilstrap Jul 17, 2008 12:32 AMTags
Jessica Alba, Cash WarrenGaz Shirley/Bret Thompsett, PacificCoastNews.com

In an astonishing act of brazen, motherly thievery, Jessica Alba has admitted that she “stole” her newborn child’s name from a friend. And in an even more shocking turn, the ripped-off name is Honor. Oh, the bitter, bitter irony.

Yet the treachery doesn’t stop there. In fact, it seems larcenous acts run in the family, and they start damned young. “She has my mouth,” exhorted Alba of her child, an infant seemingly hell-bent on inter-family body pilferage. “And my ears,” the newly hearing-impaired mother revealed.

Apparently the barbaric incidents have sent father Cash Warren over the edge. “I want her to look like me,” demanded the stunned, seemingly unhinged patriarch. “Because a daughter looking like Jessica, I'd kill myself!”