Sarah Palin, Joe Biden

AP Photo/Kiichiro Sato;

Sarah Palin may be a homophobic hair-sprayed idiot who likes to see animals shot and tortured, but she knows one thing: how to put on a performance. That's pretty weird, huh? Good ol' boy Sarah must have some closeted gay friends stashed away somewhere, what with how well she's doing with all the show-stopping accoutrement.

Who else knows about things like bangs, up-do's and Sophia Loren-esque eyewear but a bunch of queens, albeit decades-behind Alaskan ones? I mean, let's get real here, hons. Wish Joe Biden would consult a few grooming fairies, already.

So, too, would Desk DeeCee, which reports: "Palin has certainly energized the base, she's shored up the numbers, and is, according to a pollster friend of mine, having an impact on the undecideds. Biden didn't move the needle at all for Obama's numbers, and his speech didn't provide a spike, as historically happens. Palin is making people pay attention, and probably has made it an even closer race."

Damn. Hate it when Desk D's right (which is, like, always).

Oh well, maybe what I'm really pissed about here is the fact that nobody's really talking about the damn issues, we're all so stuck on whether or not a glasses-free Sarah's going to nuke Russia all the while thinking it was just the local library, instead. Wait a minute. That is an issue, isn't it?

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