Matt Damon, Liberace, Michael Douglas

George Pimentel / Getty Images , John Rowlands, , Lisa O'Connor / Zuma Press

If you thought Mamma Mia was the campiest piece of cinema ever, the musical movie is gonna get some heavy competition in a few years. Steven Soderbergh is developing a biopic about Wladziu Valentino Liberace, and he’s handpicked Michael Douglas to play the pianist. This is big news for Mikey D., who hasn’t had a real hit as a leading man since S2’s Traffic eight years ago. Wife Cathy obvs pushed him to take the daring, flamboyant part, no doubt assuring her slightly older hubby she’d school him thoroughly on all things diva, entitled and uniformed.

But even more clever casting is Steve’s Ocean’s franchise power player Matt Damon to play Scott Thorson, the fella who sued Liberace in 1982 for palimony—$113 million worth. (He only ended up with $95 thou, but still...) Thorson claimed he was the dandy dude’s companion for five years, tho Lib-hon vehemently denied being a homosexual throughout his 67 years. So Toothy Tile of him, doncha think? Guess being cramped in the interior of a closet never goes out of style for some celebs, so sad. So predictable. So pathetic.

Interesting that Damon is doin’ the gay thang—the first time since 1999’s The Talented Mr. Ripley. Guess the homo-tones in Ripley were too subtle for Academy members to notice and award him a golden, taut-assed guy, poor baby. But this time, he’ll be playing it loud and queer, and we all know how goin’ way gay in a flick is a surefire way to get noticed by Oscar voters. As we’ve said repeatedly, the babes do the hookers and sluts to get their Oscars on; boys pull out the pooftah and handicapped roles. Works like a charm every damn time. Sean Penn will be able to back that up at the Kodak Theatre come February for Milk, that’s fer sure.

So we get why Douglas and Damon are on board, clearly. But why did S.S. choose them? Stay tuned. We’ll tell ya.

—Additional sass by Becky Bain

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share

We and our partners use cookies on this site to improve our service, perform analytics, personalize advertising, measure advertising performance, and remember website preferences. By using the site, you consent to these cookies. For more information on cookies including how to manage your consent visit our Cookie Policy.