Is it just us, or could this photo of Jessica Alba from a Declare Yourself ad double as the latest poster from the Saw franchise? Seriously, did the ad folks think that conjuring up some celeb torture porn would get people to the polls? The photo doesn’t make us wanna vote, it makes us wanna weep, like Jessie’s doin' herself, covered in all that horrific black duct tape. You’re supposed to inspire, not scare. J.A.’s a new mama, too—one sight of this and her Honor’s likely to be scarred for life. Can we call a recall on any disturbing fetish-type images in the media, once and for all? We’re losin’ our Cobb salads, here, yuck. And aren’t things dicey enough for Obama as it is? Don’t add to the precarious sitch, Jess-dear, whatever you do, please.
—Additional sass by Becky Bain