Jennifer Aniston

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So sure you've heard, Jennifer Aniston is bouncing back from both The Break-Up and her breakup by guesting on NBC's 30 Rock in the fall. Jen's not the first Friend to do so—David Schwimmer did a dorky cameo as a Go Green guy in season two, playing his Ross geek character down to a T. And Rachel—we mean Jen—is doing the same damn thing herself, over and over in every movie she's miraculously cast in.

Quirky but charming personality, great coif, killer legs, huge void inside. Can't this girl pull a Monster and get down 'n' dirty for once? Even with her "ugliest" role in indie flick The Good Girl, her hair was...perfect. Oh, make us throw up faster than watching Amy Winehouse off her considerably talented ass, already. Seriously, Ani-babe, we're just waiting for you to drop the cute shtick and tackle an edgier role. Think the tatted-up, gun-blazin', kickass hottie Angelina played in Wanted, for instance.

We actually think J.A.'s sitcom guest spot will be a big hit—something she hasn't had in a while as far as the silver screen is concerned. Babe needs to realize TV's ready to take her back with open arms, while each and every movie she stars in barely lets her out alive. Unless, of course, our radar is way off and Marley & Me becomes a frontrunner for Best Picture. Right.

But listen, Jen-poo, this well-coiffed girlishness on camera is getting as predictable as your nemesis' overzealous maternal reaching for French saint hood. Give the good girl the brush off, pronto.

—Additional English-screwin' reporting by Becky Bain

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