We're certain by now you've snooped onto Lindsay Lohan's MySpace blogiary and saw her sweet-nothing shout-out to her blecher half: the oh-so-coy "ILY" ("I Love You", for those three of you out there who couldn't figure that one out). Why hold back and just type out the initials, Lo-hon? And why bother playing this is-she-gay-or-what game anymore?
LiLo should just reveal her lady relaysh to one lucky tabloid already. They'll make oodles of money off exploiting her not-so-private life, but so will she—one brief interview and an official quickie photo shoot with Linds and her SamRo sweetie in a lip-lock, and babe will make back any debt she'll have for the next five years. She won't have to worry about makin' movies anymore, either, since she's made a better living just walking around from one posh Hell-Ay hang to the next.
L2's recent ladylike behavior is a ringing endorsement for homosexuality, ain't it? "Be Gay and Clean Up Your Life" sounds like a much more moralistic lifestyle than heter-hos like Sienna Miller slinking around town with a married man, no? And just look what coming out (and proud, don't forget) did to Lance Bass' and Neil Patrick Harris' careers! Yours definitely needs a reboot, babe.
—Additional English-screwin' reporting by Becky Bain