Guitar Praise

Once upon a time, many decades ago, right-thinking Christians declared rock 'n' roll to be the tool of Satan. They were correct of course; that's why rock is so darned cool! The funny thing is, the devil's music has since been embraced by the church. And why not, kids love to rock, so if you throw a few spiritual lyrics in among the tribal guitar/bas/drums rhythms, it makes for a perfect Judas goat.

Speaking of which, rocking with the Lord just got a little bit easier, thanks to Praise Guitar. Lay down your Guitar Hero III, young people, and step into the sacred world of God jammin'!

"Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands!" the website beseeches thee. "Shred those riffs or blast the bass...You add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: If you can't keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again—you'll soon be rockin' with the best while praising the Lord! Order the second guitar and jam with a friend!"

To paraphrase Matthew 16:13-23, get thee behind me, Satan. And pick up those drumsticks, bitch! I'm crankin' Guitar Praise!

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