Blind Vice

Beverly Hills is full o’ these freaks, right? Also, this one’s pretty plain ‘n’ simple, and besides, I’ll be so sleepless silly post-Emmys, I’ll probably answer this baby in next week’s mailbag (no promises), but meanwhile, here goes:

Flamboyant Floyd is under quite the pressures to remain young, dewy and youthful-looking on camera. He toils for one of the more glam TV jobs, and Floyd’s following expects the devilish dude to always look crackerjack, never cracked-out. After all, F.F. skewers those who don’t always look their best, right? Oui.

But, when F2 ain’t takin’ those who don’t dress appropriately to task, he likes to party with the boy-lovin’-boys (sounds fun to moi!). And there he was at one of West Hollywood’s more happening hangs, flirting up a laugh-riot storm, when a pretty young thang actually had the nerve to say to Mr. Floyd (not knowing who he was), “You actually look like a very young version of Flamboyant Floyd.”

Flam blanched a bit at first. But then he gathered his wits in record time—prolly even a bit faster than he does onscreen—and shot back: “Well, I am Flamboyant Floyd. It’s just that I’ve had so much Botox, I look two!”

Don’t push it, boyfriend. Thirty-two, maybe.

And it ain't:
Anderson Cooper

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

Bill Maher

John Shearer/WireImage.com

Ted Casablanca

E! Entertainment

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