Guests were asked to bring unwrapped gifts for less fortunate kids. Good idea, don't you think? Also, just happened to set the stage, beautifully, for the childish antics you're about to read:
As this was all for a charitable cause, sponsors were asked to donate their goods and services. One such company was Exotic Coach Limo, which said it had graciously comped Lauren's limo for the night, along with pitching in for prezzies, too divine! "We bought a bunch of toys and spent hundreds of dollars so that the limo could pull up with Lauren and be full of toys for the cause," said this worker bee in the know.
But then Lauren and her publicist got word that the car sent was...white. Quelle horreur! Apparently L.C.'s publicist barked, all bad mood 'n' all, "It's bad for your image to be seen in a white limo." Um, what? Since when does the color of the car chauffeuring you have anything to do with your persona? Thought Mariah Carey was the only bitch who demanded being luxury lifted in glistening-white wheels? Or is that precisely the point?
(And apparently, these know-it-alls were very upset and in a supreme mood to bitch, as we've noticed the same fab Chi-town blog we've linked to on down in the column, for another part of this stupid story, also mysteriously became intimately aware of the following gross actions you'll no doubt want to upchuck over, unless your name happens to be Heidi.)
So what happened, you ask? According to our Windy City firsthand sources, Lauren actually refused to get into the waiting limo because it was, indeed, white. Twenty minutes before the departure time, a text message was sent to the company canceling the limo altogether. "Lauren is freaking out because she doesn't want a white limo," it read. "Sorry."
Sorry indeed.
"Maybe she flew in on her broomstick," they fumed. And as long as we're on the broomstick patrol, perhaps L.C.'s rep could invest in one, too? According to a Chicago gossip blog, the Conrad mouthpiece continued right along being bitchy at the actual event, trying to control reporters' questions, the bossy-ass nerve!
Interestingly enough, Lauren's Hills costars Whitney Port and Audrina Patridge are hosting a party at Crobar Dec. 28. Wonder if they'll be anywhere near as color-coordinated as Lauren?
"You must be the only one still working," B.V. bitched to this (nonunion) entertainment reporter. Sometimes feels that way, surely, while so many talented colleagues are suffering the belabored sitch. "[Continue reporting] while you're still young and pretty," advised Desperate wunderkind Cherry, before adding, "which should be at least until the strike is over." Bitchy!
"That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me," M.C. counterbitch-bitched.
And as far as outta-control meowing goes, brace yourselves: Vilanch will be filling Bette up with lines that'll make the whole Desperate diva showdown look downright Disneyesque. "Will you be making Bette's mouth disgustingly foul?" I inquired.
"Oh, absolutely," B.V. insisted.
Can't wait.