Remember how our Desk Debauched (which consists of gals who hang tight with Lindsay Lohan) told us that Ms. L, fresh from rehab, couldn't wait to get reacquainted with some of her old Hell-Ay hangs, including Hyde and the Ivy? Wonder if that goss item—plus yesterday's baby about how Lindsay was tearing up the club scene in Utah last Friday—is what caused some East Coast radio stations on Tuesday to report puzzled queries of whether or not Ms. L had already re-re-relapsed? Dunno. Do know that upon checking back with our Utah spies, a few of whom witnessed L2 partying at the Hotel, a music club at Sundance, that Dina and Michael's eldest was making no secret of refreshing herself. But like we said yesterday, that coulda just been a buttload of Diet Rock Star, right?
Regardless, get ready for Countdown to Comeback (to the hang-hard headlines, that is).
"She's dedicated to it," blabbed Desk D to us, just secs ago.
Just do it sober, babe! And one word of advice I'm sure you'll toss out the window of your speeding Mercedes, pronto: Britney.Clearly, Davey’s outta his Queer Duck phase.
But what’s drivin’ it, we wonder? Where’d you get this sudden new ballsy breath o’ life, David darling? The agents at ICM whom we (unofficially) polled with our little artistic query didn’t seem to know anything terribly specific. But those agents’ assistants sure did! Hey, the babes who answer the phones always know where the s--t’s at, no matter which pro joint it is.
Yep, turns out David’s got himself all heated 'n’ hot/bothered in life again! Thought somethin’ was up. Téa, darling, you must be red-cheeked with emotion! Congrats!
Had to really think about that one, as the rags and column bitches (this one included) are always going to go for the Mercedes-slamming screamers over some nonalcoholic sweetums—just the nature of the biz. But a campaign of sorts sure as hell wouldn’t hurt. Shall we get Kiefer to start it off, something with the seen-it-all slut sitting poolside, sipping a Virgin Mary with his sexlicious hangers-on dripping all over his too-white puss under a slogan that reads, “Got Sobriety?”
Nah, I’d drink, too, if that were my only option. Readers, any ideas for an ad theme to keep people from drugging/starving/boozing themselves to death in Hollywood? We’re all helpful ears here at Awful!