Below is an email I received on Nov. 30, 2006:
Dear Ted:
My ex-girlfriend is taking a semester abroad and is claiming to be the girl who hooked up with Vince Vaughn in Budapest recently. I have all the information on her if you want, including the email detailing her night spent with him.
Andrew G.
I informed Mr. G.—who, when I contacted him, told me he wanted moolah—that we don't pay cash-ola for info. Damn those naughty Us Weekly and Star tabs with their endless bank vaults for tawdry tell-tale bits! But, whatev. Did you all actually read about the sorority sistah's encounter with Vaughn, as deep-pocketed Star ended up reporting it?
Nothing happened!
Uh-huh, that's right, babycakes—just as I've been reporting with V2 and Aniston for aeons, nothin' other than cuddlin' 'n' kissin' goes down with this dude. I mean, when's the last time you were alone with a guy in a Budapest penthouse and you both waved goodbye the next ayem, like you were the bestest of (platonic) instant BFF?
Oh, Vaughn's the player, that's fer sure. Just a diff kind than H-town's used to, for the most part.
Further celeb temporary-resident scuttlebutt has it that Jim Carrey (star of those botched film deals I reported last week) left a veddy fancy New Yawk apartment owner simply steaming when he backed out of renting said fancy digs—due to the movie Carrey was making being canceled, natch. It was terribly, terribly abrupt, I'm told.
And this is an InWhySee building that's so snitty-ass, they wouldn't allow clothing designer and Babs Streisand BFF Donna Karan to buy the top apartment, because she wanted to use the building's pool privately, every morning. Well, darlings, I completely understand. I mean, pulling rank for the diva herself would have been one thing, but for La Streisand's dressmaker? I think not!
Regardless, Mr. Carrey shouldn't inquire about taking rooms for whatever duration or price in the futcha—his name's mud at said locale, and it sounds like it will be for eternity.
I swear, the memories of those Big Apple snobs can be as lethal as Tori Spelling's bitch list.While Britney Spears is sluttin' it up all over Tinseltown and making a bid for the Nicole Kidman mother-seen-most-often-without-her-kids crown, I've been wondering what Kevin Federline has been up to. I mean, we haven't seen him whoopin' it up at nightclubs or shoppin' up a storm with Brit's plastic, right?
Aren't you all just dying to know how K-Fed's been spending his time lately?
Well, E! News' intrepid interviewer Amy Silverberg made it her mission to talk to K-Fed, post-Brit split, on Tuesday night at pricey Mastro's Steakhouse in Bev Hills, of all too perfect places.
Guess Kevin really wants us to know he ain't livin' off the McDonald's dollar menu, huh? He also sported a new, classier look and decided to ditch the 'beaters for a collar shirt and blazer.
Anyhow, let's get to the semi-dirt you really wanna know: Is Kev cryin' into his filet these days?
"I am great," he proclaimed. "You know, just moving along, progressing and taking it all in stride."
As for that underperforming album, Playing with Fire?
"We are working it slowly," he said, in the understatement of the year. "I got a lot of options on the table right now." What, exactly, besides backup dancing, dude? You talkin' about those rumors that you're doing a reality show?
"There's a lot of stuff in the works," he deflected to Ms. S. "It's early for that."
It's not too early, evidently, for some New Year's resolutions. "A little bit wiser, a little bit stronger," he said. Final Q: How do you want the public to view you?
"I am a family man and that is me," said Kev. "That is the truth, that is all honesty, that is what it is."
You might just get your chance to prove that with Sean Preston and Jayden James, babe, if Brit keeps acting like such a dimbo!