From Brit ‘n’ Kev’s busting up to Paris ‘n’ Lindsay’s busting out, girlfriends, have we got some transparently tricky dish today! Plus, which H-town celeb turned down din-din with the Prez? Ya might be surprised…
Kevin Federline,Britney Spears

Larry Busacca/WireImage.com

Breaking up is the new black! First, Hilary and Chad (yawn), and then, Reese and Ryan hit sayonara-ville, semi-shockers both. But now, the moment we all knew was coming has finally arrived: Yep, our beloved Brit Spears-Alexander-Federline has finally come to her Southern-fried senses, announcing today that she’s dumping K-Fed. After appearing supersvelte and sex-ay on the Late Show Monday night, the blond-again Britser, thank heavens, filed for divorce from the freakishly fertile Federline Tuesday. In the legal docs, obtained by those TMZ terribles, B.S.A.F. asks for full custody of her two tykes and waives her right for spousal support.

Is she crazy? Doesn’t she know Playing With Fire is gonna be a cash cow?

Seriously, though, duo dissolutions are all the rage here in T-town, as of late (like they’ve ever gone outta fashion here, who am I kidding?). My only question is what the hell took Whitney Houston so damn long to join the bust-up bandwagon? Next up? TomKat, mark my gossipy words. Even if they do marry for nine and one-half minutes, so you can just not bother with those emails, if you don’t mind.
Paris Hilton

Glenn Weiner/ZUMApress.com

Celebs flocked to Melrose Avenue last Thursday for the opening bash of the chic again Original Penguin store; I'm sure you're all on the edges of your lumbar-supporting seats for the deets.

Now, either the stars really dig Penguin duds (gratis, natch), or they were compelled to attend because power promoter Brent Bolthouse was deejaying. Maybe a bit o' both? Anyway, Paris, Lindsay and the rest of the perennial partyers came in droves. But I was pleased to see a few fresh faces out 'n' about, as well.

David Arquette

Alexandra Wyan/WireImage.com

Take David Arquette, for ince. Wife-unit Courteney Cox wasn't round, by the by. I asked the sometimes shy guy what he was hoping to give and get for the holidays. "I think holidays are really for the kids and just being a family," Davey demurred, quasi-successfully. "We don't really need anything."
 
D.A. may not need anything, but you know he gets gift bag goodies out the wazoo. Therefore, I asked if he ever re-gifts said stash. "I don't know, I feel guilty about re-gifting," he mused. "So, I donate it to charity."
 
I'm sure Goodwill really needs Swarovski-encrusted Sidekicks.
Jason Biggs

Jeff Frank/ZUMAPress.com

Anyway, it's a nice thought here in gimme-greedy Tinseltown. On the opposite end of this re-gift sitch was supremely sarcastic Jason Biggs:
 
"I'm not giving anything," he joked. "I'm hoping to get a lot though. I think I'm due for a holiday where [girlfriend Lindsay Zir, who was by Biggs' side] gives me everything. Is that selfish?"
 
Uh, we'll say no. What about re-gifting, boyfriend? Do ya do it?
 
 "Yeah, absolutely. I've gotten more iPods than I know what to do with, " he answered, admirably forthrightly. "I'll be happy to re-gift it, but I'm not going to tell you I'm re-gifting. I'm gonna be, like, 'I waited in line at the Grove for four hours today at the Apple store...' "
 
Not anymore, you pie-muffin!
 
Okay, iPods are easy to hand off. But how about making a lame gift sound good, I probed to J.B., like potholders?
 
"Could you say they're, like, Julia Child's potholders or something?" he replied. "But then you'd have to fib a little, and I'm not an advocate of fibbing. I prefer straight-up lying."
Isaiah washington

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

Oh, really? Perhaps Jason-doll could work as Isaiah Washington's publicist? Regardless, I asked him to elaborate.
 
"Fibbing is in a grey area...It's a p--sy lie," he explained. "If you're gonna lie, just f--kin' go for it."
 
Oh, now I def think Jason should start toiling for the likes of Isaiah, n' est-ce pas?
Haylie Duff

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

Much less Penguin potty-mouthed was Haylie Duff, who just finished a turn on Broadway in Hairspray. I asked her how InWhySee's cultural scene compared to Hell -Ay's. Don't laugh! Yes, I did ask said inquiry...

"I love New York, and I love the whole environment of theater," the eldest Duff mused. "I wish we had that kind of community here in L.A."
 
Oh come on, Haylie-hon, you mean coming to a swanky store opening doesn't do it for you?
 
"If you have nothing to do one day [in NYC], you're like 'Oh, let's go to a museum,' " she continued, doing her best to play Hell-Ay nice—and not exactly doin' the best job-a-roonie.
 
 "The culture is really different there than it is here. Not better...just different.'" Hmmm.

Self-proclaimed cultural icon Paris Hilton, in a blue frock, sashayed by. Ms. H. quickly proceeded to clean out the store, ripping through racks of clothes, moving mannequins and putting pretend belts on dummies. Photogs snapped away as Paris smiled and picked up loads of loot.
Lindsay Lohan

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

On the opposite attention-seeking, freebie-siphoning end was Lindsay, as in Lohan. She slipped in through the back door, semi-incognito in her white ski cap. I saw her smoke a cig and sip bottled water while chatting with Jessica Meisels for all of five minutes. Then, poof! She was gone. Disappointed photogs couldn't even snap a pic of L.L. before she bounced to the Motorola bash across town.
 
Despite her blink-and-she's-gone appearance at Penguin, L.L. hung all night at Area on Saturday. More on her new festive pals tomorrow, and this info, my sweets 'n' sours.
Jaime Pressly

Dan Herrick/ZUMApress.com

Last Wednesday was a cocktail reception at the Young Hollywood Home Showcase at the Pacific Design Center where potentially preggers Jaime Pressly was being honored for her Hollywood Life cover. I made it my mission, yet again, to scope out this talked about "bump" that should be growing if we go with her Earl costar Jason Lee's sentiments
 
Even though the Southern belle vocally denied being preggers to moi last week, it seemed ridiculously strange that she hit the scene styled in yet another Empire-waist ensemble. Although J.P. looked glam in her Audrey Hepburn-esque black number, Ms. Pressly once again gave a possible expecting clue by drinking only Dole juice. 
Holly Valance

Albert L. Ortega/WireImage.com

Let's get real. Unless you're going for the 90-day sobriety pin, you don't waste a night of free cocktails. And to top it all off, the lady of the hour was greeted by Holly Valance, her Australian costar in DOA, who whispered "congrats" as she touched Jaime's tummy. 
 
Who the eff knows, but if this A-lister really is expecting, not even the most fashionable efforts in denial will pass much longer. 
 
But to truly touch upon the mag's title, I pondered on how much having a political opinion is (or isn't) a part of stars' Hollywood lives.
George W. Bush

Jason Moore/ZUMApress.com

 "Just because you've made a name for yourself in Hollywood," Ms. P. politely responded, "doesn't give you a voice to be representative of a country." J-doll-cup then told yours truly that when she was invited to dinner with Dubya, main man of the White House, she told her publicist, "I'll pass!" 
 
Oh, the wasted opportunity. To think of what that gal could have done with foie gras and Bush's face, well, it's simply a crime.
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