"They ended our testimony early."
—Plaintiff in a case being heard in room 71, sixth floor, Metro Courthouse, downtown Los Angeles
According to a witness who claims she was just hauled outta the courtroom that Kiefer Sutherland and "a ton of DAs" subsequently filed into, Mr. S—who was pulling that Hell-Ay no-no of drinking and driving and who just got sentenced to the 48 days in jail he was anticipating—appeared "okay, but kind of weird, like he was being ushered into a premiere, or something."
Well, aren't courtrooms and jails—with always overly cushioned entrances and exits—the latest openings to be seen at? And why let the little folks finish with their legal biz, when the erring flavors o' the month are sent to their penances? For ince, did Paris have to wait to make a phone call in jail? Nope (other, less famous, jailbirds did, however). Can't wait to see how the rest of Kiefy-babe's Glendale behind-bars time goes. Have the feeling this is only the beginning of the same-old movie-star double-standard two-step in T-town. Stay (quasi-sober) tuned, 'kay?
“The gayer you get, the cuter you get.”
—Mondo homosexual talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres to T.R. Knight (recently outed, now mondo homo actor), at Hell-Ay’s annual Cracked Xmas fundraiser for the Trevor Project
I’m sure the Princess Di clone will soon be on to her next class-conscious chap, so not to overly worry, eh? And when the hell is this country going to start getting some kind of titled system under works, to be awarded by the prez each year, just like Queen Liz does with her subjects? Hillary can start if off! It’ll be all American Idol-like, hosted in the Capitol Rotunda, and we can have awards and titles for best outted star, best homeless shelter provider, best pet saver, and so forth.
Okay, hope my bronchitis clears up, I’m taking too much cold medicine.