Boozy encounters from Hollywood’s 80-proof trenches for ya today, darlings; plus, Teri Hatcher’s underwear benevolence and some sassy Oscar-nominated dame’s baddie mouth! Ready to gasp?

The Apprentice, Donald Trump

NBC/Chris Haston

Donald Trump could learn a thang or 10 from the peeps at Grey Goose. See, GG launched La Poire, its new pear vodka (what’s next, prune?), Tuesday night and Donald’s cheapo coming out for Trump Vodka didn’t hold a chilled crystal highball to their bash.

First off, location, location, location. The Donald’s do was held at Les Deux, an increasingly run-of-the-mill Hollywood club. G2 had its get-down at the très-swanky Hollywood Hills house where Entourage is filmed. The pricey pad was decked out in hues of green, natch, with larger-than-life vodka bottles adorning shelves and giant pear displays.

Rex Lee

Matthew D. Simmons/WireImage.com

Rex Lee recognized the house from taping, obvs, and helped me out with a little tour. I asked Rex what's the craziest thing he does while drinking. “Oh, I just start talking too much and saying things I shouldn’t say to people!” he fessed, while sipping a cocktail.

Danny Masterson

Kevin Parry/WireImage.com

Danny Masterson was playing deejay downstairs, where partygoers were treated to de-lish libations and yum finger foods (a week’s worth of meals for Kate Bosworth, no doubt). See, Donald, not only did GG have an open bar, but it had eats, too, so no one was drinking on an empty stomach. Uh, take safe-streets notes, Mr. T.

I asked Danny, aka DJ Mom Jeans, if he were a cocktail, what exactly, would he be.

(Eat me if you don’t like my Barbara Walters “if you were a tree” rip-off).

“Tequila on the rocks,” Mr. M. answered quicker than Paris moans ‘n’ coos!

“Why?” I pressed, for the 80-proof record.

“Because it’s f--king tasty!” he shot back.

Okay, I’m convinced.

Oh, and for the nonalcoholic record, I’d be a Bloody Fairy!

Lick-Lick P.S.: My very own Desk Imbibes, Cristina Gibson, insists to me this new Goose vodka is much better than Trump’s gold stuff, so there, Mr. Bad Hair!

Adam Brody

Jeff Frank/ZumaPress.com

Adam Brody, selectively swagging at Sundance. Adam, with a messy but semisex-ay mop, hit the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge and politely declined the free cell, snow boots and T-shirts he was offered. So shocking! Has Adam-babe taken an oath against gratis goodies or somethin’? Not completely, as he did take a $500 gift cert to Melrose Mac and an iPod case. Doin’ art for art (and not swag’s) sake elsewhere was...

Victor Garber

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMA Press.com

Victor Garber, peepin’ some sculptures. The Scott White Contemporary Gallery in San Diego last Friday night. Vic was on hand to support his cuz Josh, whose designs were being displayed. I’m told Vic’s coiffure color is less fab that it was during his Alias days, but he was way friendly and posed for pics with myriad fans, so all’s forgiven follicle-wise! I’m less inclined to go easy on...

Kathy Griffin

Jesse Grant/WireImage.com

Kathy Griffin, attracting attention while vacationing in Vegas. My Mandalay Bay high-roller heard a big commotion and thought someone hit the jackpot, but alas, 'twas only Kathy and her 10-person crew, filming her “every uninteresting move” for her reality show. Far easier on the eyes at Mandalay was that tall drink of delirious deadpan...

Allison Janney

Paul Fenton/ZUMApress.com

Allison Janney, “an absolute Amazon woman, beautifully dressed and very smiley,” according my Sin City seer. Also out 'n' about the city of Britney Spears’ first marriage was her second hub-unit, that greaser with a skanky upper (and lower?) bod...

Kevin Federline

Jeff Frank/ZUMApress.com

Kevin Federline, makin’ the rounds at Tao three nights in a row. K-Fed is still keepin’ up his classier appearance and was spotted in a jeans, white collared shirt and blazer combo. Kev & Co. took over their VIP corner table and tossed back Grey Goose (no word on the flavor or proof, nor do I really care) with abandon until 3 ayem, which is, like, nothing compared to Brit’s late-night liaisons as of late, right?

Teri Hatcher

James Devaney/WireImage.com

I know I’ve been a little rough ‘n’ tough on Teri Hatcher lately, but you gotta admit that despite her tendency to have unkempt tresses along with her clashin’ fashion, Ms. H. does have a good heart, it (sometimes) seems. While Tare-bear was stompin’ round Sundance in her big ol’ Uggs—which would have caused Emily Blunt to have a coronary, I’m sure—the DH star took some time off from goodie-bag grubbin’ to do a little good for woman kind.

A thoughtful Teri partnered with Hanes at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge to donate more than 400 bras and panties to Peace House Inc., a local charity organization for female victims of domestic violence in Park City. Guess T.H. wanted to make sure none of the gals had a B. Spears crotch-flashing moment to add to their misfortunes.

Gratis granny panties for everyone!

Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson

Michael Caulfield/WireImage.com

As I'm sure you've all heard by now, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson showed up to a recent Dane Cook show at the Laugh Factory here in Hell-Ay. Some peeps wonder if this show of support means Jess and Dane are hookin’ up again, as they were rumored to be doing while filming Employee of the Month?

Dane Cook

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

Glad to tell you they aren't recycling, romantically speaking. I ran into Dane at the Globes, where he was presentin’ and escorting a beautiful brunette.

“This is my girlfriend, Raquel,” he told me, pointedly, when I inquired about his date for the evening, making it very clear that he’s back together with his on-off g-f.

John Mayer, Jessica Simpson

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

Plus, we all know Jess and John Mayer are all hot ‘n’ heavy again, so I’m thinking her Laugh Factory appearance was purely as a fan, not an ef-buddy.

‘Course, sometimes I’m wrong, as my detractors are so happy to point out. Just don’t think this is one of ‘em.

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