Lost: The Shape of Things to Come

ABC/MARIO PEREZ

Warning: If you haven't yet seen tonight's episode of Lost, "The Shape of Things to Come," please don't read another word and get back in the house!

If you have, well then, schmooze past the guard, pick the Penthouse elevator lock, punch in code 14J, and get your booty in here, 'cause we have much, much, much to discuss...

WHAT WE LEARNED

Benjamin Linus and Charles Widmore Are Ex-Lovers!  OK, so that's probably a bit of a stretch, but among the 4,815 reveals in the final scene of the evening—in which Ben breaks into Charles' penthouse to deliver the news he's going to kill Penny—it seems perfectly clear that:

  1. These two have known each other a very long time. (Ben to Charles: "Since when do you sleep with a bottle of Scotch next to the bed?")
  2. They've had some sort of major falling-out that has led to all-out, daughter-slaying war. (Charles to Ben: "Everything you have you took from me.")

In the divorce, maybe Charles got the money and Ben got the Island? Or were they roommates—an Odd Couple gone madly awry after too many quarrels over spilled milk?

Ben Is Hunting Penelope, and Charles Is Hunting the Island:  Awe. Some. What do you wanna bet that the series finale will be Ben and Charles and Penny and Des all meeting up on Lost Island for the ultimate showdown? Booyah!

Ben Says He "Can't" Kill Charles Widmore:  Perhaps this is a "rule" set up by Jacob/the man behind the curtain. Or perhaps...Chuckie-boy physically cannot be killed, just as with Michael.

LOL Moment of the Night:  Sawyer screaming at everyone to "Get inside!" as every non-series-regular in sight was immediately shot down, rapid fire. Turns out employment contracts are better than bullet-proof vests or invisibility cloaks. Yay!

Emilie de Ravin, Lost: The Shape of Things to Come

ABC/MARIO PEREZ

Claire Is Alive!  So, the blast leveled Claire's house but left her looking totally unscathed without so much as her wig off-kilter?! Awesome! Somebody's looking out for our little Claire-bear.

Alex Is Dead:  Wow. Wow. Wow. Was anyone anticipating Widmore's thug would actually pull the trigger and shoot our little Scrappy in the head? Clearly, Ben was not. Alex was so sweet and beautiful and full of future-storyline potential, you'd think the "Island" would protect her à la Michael and make the trigger jam or the bullet a dud! But alas, Alex is indeed dead, as confirmed by future Ben's future words with Charles. Sigh.

Ben Does Have a Heart:  Who knew?! I pictured his innards all hollow and moldy, like a bachelor fridge. But those were real tears he shed over Alex, and they came when no one was looking. Henry Gale is the Tin Man, after all! 

Let's Get Our Geography On!  First, you should know that La Brea and Santa Monica Boulevard, where Nadia's assassin was spotted via traffic-light cam, is an actual place with an actual traffic cam. I know this because I personally have received a red-light ticket from that very camera. (I also got pulled over while leaving the Lost set two weeks ago, but that's another story for another time.) We learned tonight that Nadia was killed three blocks from La Brea and Santa Monica, which just so happens to be the very area in which Joss Whedon was shooting Dollhouse today! Coinkydink? You bet!

Lost: The Shape of Things to Come

ABC/MARIO PEREZ

The Liar, the Which and the Wardrobe:  Where the bejeezus did Ben go when he holed himself up in the wardrobe closet and conjured up the smoke monster? Given that he entered the closet squeaky clean and returned all covered in soot, can we assume he had to get the monster's engine started by shoveling coal into Smoky? Also, is it possible that there does indeed exist a whole underground web of tunnels that connect the hatches? Carlton Cuse did (jokingly?) tease to us last year, "There's a vast subterranean culture that we haven't revealed." Hmmmm

Easter Egg Hunt:  If you're into the TiVo moments of this show, and draft out the floor plans of the Dharma stations in your spare time, you're gonna wanna check out Doc Arzt's awesome Easter Egg slide show for this ep, which includes a look at the Orchid Station letterman's jacket, the Black Rock above Widmore's bed, the hieroglyphics on the way to the monster pen (paging Lost's Egyptologist fans) and the ever-morphing mystery woman on Ben's wall.

"Australia's the Key to the Whole Game":  So sayeth Hurley during tonight's game of Risk, and I sayeth we listen! Flight 815 originated in Sydney, por supuesto, as did Aaron and Claire, who are supposedly integral to what Lost is all about...Not to mention Charles Widmore's obvious Aussie accent! (OK, that might be unintentional, since Alan Dale is from the Land Down Under in real life, but still.)

Also...  Ben was doing his cute little Ben thing and bold-faced lying to Sayid about how he got off Lost island. Desmond's boat? As if! He rode the Dharma polar bear express to the Sahara, rode a pony from there into Tunisia and then it's totally unclear how he got to Iraq. See below for a little geography lesson brought to you by our fun pink crayon...

Lost Map of Africa, Shape of Things to Come

WHAT'S TO COME (Spoilers Within)

Jin is alive. In the future. But you know that already, right? And he has two good friends with him, who also have superawesome bullet-and-monster-proof contracts! Yay! 

Jack is way sick. And my guess is that's what gets him off the Island. 

Also in a few short hours, I'm interviewing Michael Emerson, so if you want to find out what Ben's going to do that rotten Charles bloke, or you have other questions for M.E., email me quick at tvdiva@eonline.com and check back tomorrow afternoon.

—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin

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