Paris Hilton, Tori Spelling

CG/, FAME Pictures

Blond hair? Check. Gypsy 05 maxi dress? Check. Oversize white sunglasses that make her look like the love child of Elvis and a tzetze fly? Check.

With so much going for her, why doesn’t Tori Spelling look exactly like Paris Hilton?

She missed one key ingredient: self-inflicted spray-tan gun wounds. Better luck next time, Tori.

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