As British Vogue has described it, the last year was the year that "changed everything" for Ariana Grande.
A little over 365 days ago, the songstress had finished her first of two shows in Manchester for her Dangerous Woman third concert tour when a suicide bomber detonated an explosive as people were exiting, killing 22 people and himself and injuring hundreds.
After a few canceled shows, Grande co-organized the One Love Manchester benefit concert a week later and returned to her tour in tribute to her late fans.
Now, more than a year since that tragic day, the Grammy nominee is gearing up for the release of her fourth studio album, Sweetener, and has ditched her signature brunette ponytail for a blonde 'do—albeit temporarily for the cover of British Vogue. While life carries on, Grande has also relied on time to help cope with her post-traumatic stress disorder in the wake of the devastating event, though she is reluctant to talk about herself at all considering how much others have also suffered.
"I hate...yeah...admitting it but it very much is," she told British Vogue after the interviewer asked if the dizziness and anxiety Grande faced when she got home were signs of PTSD. "That's what everyone was telling me. It's hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss. But, yeah, it's a real thing. I know those families and my fans, and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well."
"Time is the biggest thing," the star continued. "I feel like I shouldn't even be talking about my own experience—like I shouldn't even say anything. I don't think I'll ever know how to talk about it and not cry."
While she finds it difficult to reflect on the bombing and aftermath publicly, Grande said she does often "check in" with Millie Robson, who was left with shrapnel in her legs, on Twitter, a medium she has often used to communicate with her fans in the wake of the horrific event.
A year later, Grande also returned to the airwaves with "No Tears Left to Cry," her first single off the upcoming album. As she recalled to the magazine, Grande kicked off the process for the record as soon as she wrapped up her concert commitments abroad in the fall of 2017.
"I think a lot of people have anxiety, especially right now, My anxiety has anxiety," Grande told the magazine. "No. I've always had anxiety. I've never really spoken about it because I thought everyone had it, but when I got home from tour it was the most severe I think it's ever been."
It was then that she stepped back into the recording studio.
"Everybody thought I was crazy when I got home and wanted to hit the ground running. I was in the studio the next day," she described. "I am a workaholic."
See the full feature in the July issue of Vogue, available on digital download now or on newsstands Friday, June 8th.