by Alyssa Ray | Wed., Jul. 18, 2018 5:00 AM
In this case, distance isn't making the heart grow fonder.
Despite being on her Parisian bachelorette getaway, Nikki Bella is still plagued with doubt about her back-on nuptials to John Cena. And, in this exclusive clip from Sunday's all-new Total Bellas, the WWE star admits that she and John have truly drifted apart!
While out to high tea with her closest girlfriends, the engaged Bella twin struggles to pick what has been the most fun part of wedding planning. When asked if John has any demands for their big day, Nikki reveals her man just wants her to "show up."
Still, between demoting her bridesmaids and planning the wedding alone, the whole experience hasn't been a happy one for the reality TV veteran.
"Every little part of this wedding, it's like, it's going back," Nikki confesses to her pals.
In an attempt to reassure her sister, Brie Bella reminds Nikki her journey to the wedding altar has been a "roller coaster."
"But you're finally telling people what you want," one of Nikki's best friends adds. "And that's the best part."
Although Nikki appears to be getting everything she has ever wanted, she is aware that something is not right in her relationship.
"I feel like I'm continuing to grow more apart from John, and I should be growing closer to him," Nikki shares in a confessional.
Nikki hasn't been able to admit this to her friends as they've all celebrated "how open and honest" she has been recently.
"I don't want to ruin anyone's weekend and they're all here for me, so even though I'm feeling all these emotions, I just think I want to keep this to myself for a bit longer," Nikki further relays to the Total Bellas cameras. "As long as I can, at least."
Hear Nikki's confession in the clip above!
Watch your favorite episodes of Total Bellas on E! in the UK & EIRE