by Vannessa Jackson | Sun., May. 27, 2018 7:00 PM
Get ready for some waterworks!
On this week's episode of Total Bellas, John Cena and Nikki Bella are celebrating their engagement, but Nikki is still having cold feet about marriage. Will she be able to push her feelings aside and walk down the aisle with the man of her dreams?
Her mind isn't made up yet, so she might as well do a little bit of wedding dress shopping. The bride-to-be set out with her closest family and friends to see if she could find the dress of her dreams. Unfortunately, what was supposed to be a happy moment turned into a day of dread.
"I thought you're supposed to be excited for this, like when you watch the movies and all you can think is, ‘Oh my gosh break out the champagne!' For me, I'm just like, 'Okay let's make this quick,'" she shared about the experience. "I don't know. There is just something that's not feeling right."
At least she has her engagement party to get excited about...or not. During the stress of the day, John tries to calm Nikki down and get her to enjoy the special occasion, but she's still preoccupied with everything that she's feeling.
"So the engagement party is here. I feel so overwhelmed," Nikki shared. "I honestly feel like I'm about to have an anxiety attack. I just feel like I'm on this roller coaster of emotions and I feel like I'm going to explode. It's just all too much for me."
Things didn't get any better later on in the day when Brie Bella took the spotlight to reveal that she had a major announcement to share with everyone. "Lauren and JJ have a big announcement," Brie shared before making room for her brother and his wife to come reveal their major news.
"Well, we really wanted this to just be about Nicole and John today," Lauren Garcia revealed. "We're pregnant with baby number two!" Definitely wasn't the news Nikki needed to hear today. But at least it did help put her own feelings into perspective.
"I just know deep down I want a baby...I want to be a mom. I feel like I can't live the rest of my life not having one," Nikki revealed. So how does she tell the love of her life—who is adamant about not wanting children—that she wants to start a family? It wasn't an easy conversation.
"I don't even know how to start except, um, I guess just like for some reason since Birdie's been born and I've spent a lot of time with Birdie, it's just brought up these feelings of really wanting to be a mom. I don't know if I would regret it later on in life if I wasn't," a distraught Nikki told John.
"I love you so much and I feel that has always been worth sacrificing for. I think just because we're getting married and everything is so permanent," Nikki shared. "Not that it has made me feel suffocated, but it's given me a bit of anxiety knowing that okay, the day 5/5 comes, like, that's it. The mom thing is done."
Sadly, John had a feeling that this day would come. "I would never force you to not be a mom. I really want to say it's a surprise, but I even told you so many times it would happen. I'm not sure we should go through with this."
Watch the recap video above for all the details and tune-in next week to see how it all plays out.
Watch your favorite episodes of Total Bellas on E! in the UK & EIRE