Former NBA player Chris Webber hasn't lost his magic touch, if he ever had a magic touch when it came to unwanted, publicly broadcast relationship analysis. But instead of focusing on the chemistry between the Magic and the Pacers, C-WEBB zoomed in on a possibly hypoglycemic fan with a mammoth mint-chocolate chip waffle cone who completely blew off his girlfriend, wife, sister, or fugitive from the cast of The Biggest Loser who asked him to please not let her eat any snacks, even with a Seacrest-sized sample spoon.

Also, Chris Webber might need some help with his new retirement hobby. As you'll see, his Telestrator art gets overly ambitious.

We all know Chris Webber's just angling for a spot on Shaquille O'Neal's Comedy Jam. And all of Webber's fans agree; he'd be perfect at working concessions.

If you're a fan of infinite loops of cruelty, here are some GIFs:

Ice Cream Guy GIF
Ice Cream Guy GIF
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