Lindsay Lohan

David Tonnessen/ PacificCoastNews.com

Lindsay Lohan has been ordered by a judge to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet after recently missing a court appearance because her passport had been "stolen" and she couldn't get back into the country. She also has to submit to random drug testing. I'm not going to lie: I'm worried about Lindsay. If she can't drink or do drugs, how will she get through a Tuesday afternoon? If I was a cigarette, I'd be scared.

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