by Tierney Bricker | Wed., Sep. 12, 2018 10:51 AM
Another season, another round of asking "Um, who the hell is that?!"
Dancing With the Stars officially announced the roster of celebrities that will compete for the mirrorball trophy when it returns on Monday, Sept. 24, and the season 27 cast definitely is keeping with the ABC reality hit's long tradition of picking 12 famous-ish faces that make us wonder if there should be a question mark at the end of the name of the show. Hey,that's just the facts of life.
Of course, you have your usual suspects—an athlete, a child star and an Olympic darling, oh my!—but we also have a full-blown social media influencer and a Bachelor contestant who didn't even spend more than one day in the mansion before being eliminated!
Once again, E! News asked five random people—a DWTS super-fan, a lawyer, a former entertainment reporter, a Brooklyn hipster and a college sophomore not paying attention in a lecture—if they had any idea who the 12 new DWTS contestants were.
Bobby Bones (paired with Sharna Burgess)
DWTS Super-Fan: No clue. Porn star?
Lawyer: Long stare, shrug.] I have no idea, who is that?
Former Entertainment Reporter: Former Vine star. That's what I guess what I have no idea who the person is. I'm a "former" entertainment reporter, you guys.
Brooklyn Hipster: This a hip hop artist? Bones is not his real name.
College Sophomore: Sounds like a skeleton from an old-timey kids' Halloween special.
Who He Really Is: A popular radio host and best-selling author who also served as one of the celebrity judges of the 2019 Miss America pageant.
DeMarcus Ware (paired with Lindsay Arnold)
DWTS Super-Fan: A football player?
Lawyer: I have no idea. I don't even have anything funny to say.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Broncos linebacker who played with the greatest football player of all time, Peyton Manning. @ me Tom Brady fans.
Brooklyn Hipster: Absolutely in the NFL.
College Sophomore: A football player maybe?????
Who He Really Is: Former NFL superstar and Super Bowl champ who played for the Dallas Cowboys and Denver Broncos, retiring in 2016.
Milo Manheim (paired with Witney Carson)
DWTS Super-Fan: I have no clue!
Lawyer: Um, can I buy a vowel? Like a clue or something? Give me a clue? Is he in To All the Boys I've Loved Before? Because then I'm into it.
Former Entertainment Reporter: I got nothing.
Brooklyn Hipster: Sells homemade ponchos out of his apartment in Willi-B Brooklyn.
College Sophomore: No idea but I kind of feel like only dogs should be named Milo.
Who He Really Is: The 17-year-old son of The Practice star Camryn Manheim and star of Disney Channel's Z-O-M-B-I-E-S. He is not into To All the Boys I've Loved Before.
Danelle Umstead (paired with Artem Chigvintsev)
DWTS Super-Fan: I have no clue again! What are they like scrapping the bottom of the barrel?!
Lawyer: I'm not that out of touch, these are not stars! I was listening to Imagine Dragons on the subway, I'm not totally out of touch here!
Former Entertainment Reporter: I know she's a Paralympian but I can't remember which sport.
Brooklyn Hipster: Last name sounds like someone messed up saying "um instead" no idea who this is.
College Sophomore: Um, is she on Food Network?
Who She Really Is: The 49-year-old three-time Paralympian (Alpine Skiing) is partially blind after being diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa when she was 13.
Joe "Grocery Store Joe" Amabile (paired with Jenna Johnson)
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh, yeah! Oh my god, I cannot believe that break-up! What the hell happened? And what was up with Kevin?!
Lawyer: Get the f—k out of here. A YouTube star. Anyone with a name like is a YouTube store.
Former Entertainment Reporter: The guy from the 2008 presidential campaign? Wait. No. That was Joe the Plumber. I don't know who this guy is.
Brooklyn Hipster: Let me guess...he used to work in a Grocery Store?
College Sophomore: Sounds like Trader Joe's' off-brand less cool cousin.
Who He Really Is: The breakout star of Becca Kufrin's season of The Bachelorette…despite going home on night one. He then continued his fan-favorite streak on Bachelor in Paradise and is now dating Kendall Long.
John Schneider (paired with Emma Slater)
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh, really?! From the Dukes of Hazzard!
Lawyer: Rob Schneider's son.
Former Entertainment Reporter: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Brooklyn Hipster: Rob Schneider's Liberal Alter Ego!
College Sophomore: Sounds like someone's dad.
Who He Really Is: The actor and country singer, 59, is best known for his work on The Dukes of Hazzard (as Bo Duke) and Smallville (Superman's dad).
Nancy McKeon (paired with Val Chmerkovskiy)
DWTS Super-Fan: Oh my god, That's Jo from Facts of Life!
Lawyer: Oh, I know that name! Nancy McKeon…I just can tell if I saw a picture of her I'd know her name.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Wow, I am very out of touch with this list of DWTS contestants. Maybe I should get out more.
Brooklyn Hipster: She is old, and she did something before. No idea who this is.
College Sophomore: I know this one! The lady from The Facts of Life!
Who She Really Is: Most known for playing Jo on The Facts of Life, she's also appeared in Sonny With a Chance and The Division.
Mary Lou Retton (paired with Sasha Farber)
DWTS Super-Fan: The Olympian!
Lawyer: She's the gymnast. Or was she a skater? She's a gymnast…?
Former Entertainment Reporter: She is a gold medalist gymnast from the '80s.
Brooklyn Hipster: She is not as old, and she's done less. Also no clue.
College Sophomore: OMG in my dad's old high school yearbook from 1986 everyone voted her their favorite athlete but I have no idea why!
Who She Really Is: The former gymnast, now 50, won the gold medal in the individual all-around competition at the 1984 summer games in Los Angeles.
Tinashe (paired with Brandon Armstrong)
DWTS Super-Fan: What? I don't know, a snack? A dessert? Is it one word?
Lawyer: A singer. It's got to be some music thing, who goes by one name?
Former Entertainment Reporter: Yes! I know this one. She's a singer. She sang with Britney on the track "Slumber Party."
Brooklyn Hipster: I keep trying to say "Tina-She" but it sounds wrong. I have no idea who this is
College Sophomore: Sounds like the name of a curse you would place on your worst enemy. #spookyszn
Who She Really Is: Pop star on the cusp…she appeared on remixes of Britney Spears' "Slumber Party" and Nick Jonas' "Jealous," and has acted in projects such as The Polar Express, Empire and Two and a Half Men.
Juan Pablo Di Pace (paired with Cheryl Burke)
DWTS Super-Fan: Is that the guy from The Bachelor, the one that everyone hated?
Lawyer: I feel like that sounds familiar.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Was he the Bachelor that everyone hated?
Brooklyn Hipster: John Pablo The Pace. This guy is going to win.
College Sophomore: Aye-aye-aye, sounds like my Latin lover. But, alas, no idea who he actually is.
Who He Really Is: Fuller House star (he plays Kimmy Gibbler's beau Fernando ) who is following in the dance steps of his co-stars Candace Cameron Bure and Jodie Sweetin. The 39-year-old Argentinian also portrayed Jesus in A.D. The Bible Continues, so he probably has God on his side.
Nikki Glaser (paired with Gleb Savchenko)
DWTS Super-Fan: She's not something to do with Paris Hilton…is she?
Lawyer: I keep thinking of…Wasn't Frasier's agent Bebe Glazer? Right? What's that her name? Bebe? That sounds familiar. Meryl Streep's daughter? What are their names? Mamie Gummer? Mamie Glazer?
Former Entertainment Reporter: Comedian and also someone I follow on Twitter.
Brooklyn Hipster: SOMEONE I KNOW! Funny lady, super cool.
College Sophomore: Gurl, you don't even have to test me on my stand-up comedians!
Who She Really Is: A popular stand-up comedian and podcast host.
Alexis Ren (paired with Alan Bersten)
DWTS Super-Fan: No idea.
Lawyer: Oh my god, I don't know a single one. All I know is Mary Lou Retton.
Former Entertainment Reporter: Pass.
Brooklyn Hipster: She is just one of those celebrities that's just a celebrity to be a celebrity and was grown in a celebrity lab, right? No idea who this is.
College Sophomore: As an Instagram-addicted millennial, I am personally offended you even have to ask. She's so pretty it makes me sick.
Who She Really Is: Model and internet celeb, per Wikipedia. She rose to fame on Instagram and has just under 13 million followers.
Evanna Lynch (paired with Keo Motsepe)
DWTS Super-Fan: I have no idea.
Lawyer: Did Ivana get remarried to a man named Lynch? No. Harry Potter. Hermione? No, I know who that is. The professor with the nice face? She always plays a nice person.
Former Entertainment Reporter: LUNA FREAKIN' LOVEGOOD.
Brooklyn Hipster: This is an Irish name so she's probably second only to Nikki, hope she wins.
College Sophomore: She sounds like a ruthless figure skater, but the world already has one too many of those. (Editor's note: After learning who she played in Harry Potter, the response was: "FOR REAL. WTF. NO WAY. I'M ACTUALLY SO MAD AT MYSELF RN.")
Who She Really Is: It's the ICONIC Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter film series. The 27-year-old Brit hosts a podcast about veganism.
Dancing With the Stars premieres Monday, Sept. 24 at 8 p.m. on ABC.
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