by Lena Grossman | Tue., Sep. 11, 2018 7:07 PM
Sometimes, being in paradise isn't always everything it's cracked up to be. Just look at the crew on season 5 of Bachelor in Paradise.
Before we delve into the hot summer romances and some inevitable breakups, it's important to pause for a moment and revel in the importance of Bachelor Nation. At this point, Bachelor Nation should be added on the U.S. Census form. For brevity's sake, this dedicated band of followers will henceforth be known as B.N.
B.N. includes both veterans of The Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons as well as us regular folk who enjoy the scandalous moments from the confines of our couches. When a new episode of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise is on TV, the show immediately becomes a trending topic on Twitter, which is really where the true B.N. citizens reside. In fact, there's hardly any sun in B.N. because there's too much shade being thrown.
The cast of Bachelor in Paradise Season 5 includes some controversial and beloved figures. There's Grocery Store Joe Amabile from Becca Kufrin's season who recently found fame becoming the Internet's newest obsession. We have Eric Bigger from Rachel Lindsay's season and The Bachelor Winter Games whose smile could melt the coldest of hearts. Plus, there's former Becca suitor David Ravitz who made his grand entrance in a chicken suit. We can't forget the Tia Booth-Colton Underwood love triangle or Tia's former competitors for Arie Luyendyk Jr. 's heart, Krystal Nielson and Chelsea Roy.
Some love stories prevailed (Jordan Kimball and Jenna Cooper, Krystal and Chris Randone), others morphed into love triangles/rhombuses/parallelograms. A clear and united hero in Bachelor Nation this season was Grocery Store Joe, who continued to prove his kindheartedness and dedication to Kendall Long. Although they broke up on the show, the two revealed at the Bachelor in Paradise reunion that they're together and doing just fine, thanks. Fans rallied behind Grocery Store Joe and advocated on his behalf to become the next Bachelor, although the title ultimately went to Paradise alum Underwood.
Not all reality TV hope is lost for Joe. Chris Harrison announced to the crowd that he "knows some people" and pulled some strings and got America's favorite grocery store owner a spot on Dancing With the Stars.
Throughout the season, E! News will keep tabs on some of the sauciest and best tweets from B.N. See below for some prime examples.
And just like that, Annalise now has an engagement trauma #BachelorinParadise— Stephanie (@StephanieAmick) September 12, 2018
If Krystal and Chris have kids she’ll be mother goose #BachelorinParadise— Gretchen (@GravityStelena) September 12, 2018
What if Grocery Store Joe actually owns all of the Trader Joe’s and he has just been really humble this whole time #BachelorInParadise— Rachel 🎄 (@RaquelTheShell) September 12, 2018
If they got Grocery Store Joe on Dancing with the Stars, at the very least they can book Annaliese a new AirBnB. #BachelorInParadise— Mel 🐝 (@melgotserved) September 12, 2018
Getting dumped was not part of the 12 month plan #BachelorInParadise— Astrid Loch (@astrid_loch) September 11, 2018
The fact that Joe is not the Bachelor is the biggest injustice in reality TV history #bachelorinparadise— Betches (@betchesluvthis) September 11, 2018
Did @Colt3FIVE get frosted tips?— Vanessa Grimaldi (@VanessaGrimaldi) September 4, 2018
And NO I will NOT be a contestant on Colton’s season. Lord bless.— Tia Booth🖤 (@tiarachel91) September 4, 2018
NOOOO NOT THE BREAKUP PALAPA!!! I have had TWO BREAKUPS THERE!!!!!! #BachelorInParadise— Carly Waddell (@carlywaddell) September 4, 2018
What we learned on #BachelorInParadise tonight:— beth (@bethica19) August 28, 2018
1. Kevin is our true favorite for quoting Justin Trudeau
2. Kendal is an emotionally mature ANGEL
3. Leo is your toxic high school boyfriend that hasn’t grown up and sells pyramid scheme protein shakes
Kevin:— Hannah🧜🏼♀️ (@hannahsajban) August 28, 2018
1. Goes to therapy
2. Encourages other men to confront their toxic masculinity
3. Is open and honest with his s/o
Be more like Kevin #BachelorInParadise
THE FORMALDEHYDE HAS GOTTEN TO KENDALL’S BRAIN. #BachelorInParadise— Ashley Spivey (@AshleySpivey) August 22, 2018
It’s been 34 minutes and I haven’t seen myself on TV #BachelorinParadise— Astrid Loch (@astrid_loch) August 21, 2018
Wait... did Krystal lose her voice again?— Colton Underwood (@colton) August 21, 2018
DirecTV’s episode description of “Bachelor in Paradise” tonight. Bahahahahahahaha. Thanks for being so specific. This could be applied all day, every day, to any man in America. pic.twitter.com/WbnWNU7Y5Y— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) August 14, 2018
I’ll take that bet— Dean Michael Unglert (@deanie_babies) August 14, 2018
the devil works hard but the bachelor producers work harder #BachelorInParadise— Sylvia Zavala (@SylviaZavala) August 14, 2018
Tia: I’m in love with Colton— bekah martinez ♡ (@whats_ur_sign_) August 8, 2018
Also Tia: I have all of his contact info but decided not to talk to him for 2 months and rely on a TV show to bring us together
This blonde fella has somehow snuck weed onto the island. Also I’m super creeped out and have diverted Bella’s eyes/ears because YOU ARE NOT A GOOD ROLE MODEL YOUNG MAN #BachelorinParadise— Evan Bass (@ebassclinics) August 8, 2018
Hey how about Tia and Colton just date again in real life so I don't have to watch them on my television. #BachelorInParadise— Trent (@BarstoolTrent) August 8, 2018
This marks the end for Bachelor in Paradise, but we can say with full confidence that B.N. proved itself to be as strong and as sassy as ever.
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
(This article was originally published on August 7, 2018)
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