"Why is there a siren?" "Where the f—k are the life jackets?!" "Get on the floor!" Ladies and gentlemen, we have the first footage The Real Housewives of New York City's much-discussed boat trip in Colombia and it looks insane.
In the below exclusive midseason trailer, Bethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan, Tinsley Mortimer, Dorinda Medley and Luann de Lesseps laugh it up, argue, dance, scream with joy and then scream in horror. There's Bethenny vs. Carole, some Sonja shade on Ramona, Luann doing her best Sofia Vergara impression because why not, Dorinda vs. Luann (?!) and the ladies of RHONY vs. the boat.
"This is the worst vacation ever," a teary Bethenny says after having it out with Carole.
"I don't think you really like me," B says.
"OK, well, maybe that's it!" Carole concedes.
The two former BFFs have been on the outs all season, but seemed to have put it all behind them…until Colombia. Dorinda and Luann's squabble seems to come out of nowhere, but there's some thrown dishware and Dorinda saying, "Get married again. You're awful." Dorinda was Luann's biggest supporter after Lu's arrest and rehab stint...what changed?
Come for the drama, like Ramona in a wheelchair in Colombia, and stay for the comedy, like Bethenny's impression of Ramona speed dating and Bethenny reading Sonja's job description:
"Profession: Toaster oven chef, model/actress, event producer, publicist film producer…"
Oh, Sonja. We never did get that toaster oven.
RHONY will be off on July 4th, but returns with new episodes on Wednesday, July 11. In that installment, Dorinda helps Luann prepare her wardrobe for the countess' cabaret, Bethenny helps Sonja set up a dating profile and Tinsley moves in to her new penthouse.
The three-part trip to Cartegena, Colombia begins on July 18 with dramatic clashes for Bethenny. The action continues with a day of shopping on July 25 and more drama for Bethenny and Carole, while the Dorinda and Luann confrontation heats up. Finally, it's the boat trip from hell on Wednesday, Aug. 1. The ladies embark on a trip to a private island for some fun in the sun...and some trauma on the high seas.
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)