Relive the Scariest Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats in History

Forget everything you knew about the family-friendly holiday

By McKenna Aiello Nov 23, 2016 8:42 PMTags
Scariest Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats, 2005David Handschuh/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Forget everything you knew about Thanksgiving. This holiday is actually creepy AF. 

Sure, we gather around the television each year to kick off our festivities with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but has anyone ever realized the beloved tradition actually stars a straight-up terrifying cast of characters? (Read: That floating clown and its terrorizing clown squad right up there.)

So in the spirit of Turkey Day, let's relive some of the most God-awful floats to glide down Broadway across the parade's 92-year history: 

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Walter Kelleher/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Thanks for ruining Pinocchio for all of us, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade circa 1937. 

AP Photo/Kathy Willens

This freaky Bart Simpson float is enough to quit Thanksgiving forever. 

Visions of America/UIG via Getty Images

Ronald McDonald is never not nightmare-inducing, and the McDonald's mascot in float version is no exception. 

AP Photo

Another big fat nope goes to this massive cat creature sailing through the Big Apple. 

AP Photo/Mark D. Phillips

Sorry, Kermit the Frog. We had to spill the tea on this admittedly regrettable moment of yours. 

NBCU Photo Bank

George Washington and Benjamin Franklin did nothing to deserve this, and neither did we. 

Michael Stewart/WireImage

A valuable lesson to SeaWorld: Don't enter a float in the parade when a little 'ol documentary called Blackfish all but dismantles your brand a few months prior. Cue the animal rights activists who jumped the barricade... Yikes. 

mary delaney cooke/Corbis via Getty Images

Nope. Just nope. 

Jeff Christensen/Getty Images

There's something about those beady little pig eyes... 

Underwood Archives/Getty Images

Excuse us, 1929 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but fish like this weren't featured in Finding Nemo for a reason. 

Walter Kelleher/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

And last but not least, whatever this mouse-serpent hybrid is. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!