BravoBravo's resident Southern belles are finally back for season nine and one thing is abundantly clear: We're in for the continued clash of the egos over Moore Manor and Chateau Sheree.
With Sheree Whitfield back full-time, tonight's premiere of The Real Housewives of Atlanta wasted no time making the OG's race against Kenya Moore to finally finish their long-gestating dream homes the focal point of the beginning of the season, at least. And while neither are done yet (and, to be fair, Sheree's been at this for much longer than Kenya), both women had no problem throwing shade the other's way. Especially when one chose to throw her housewarming party well before the work was finished.
But before we get into that, let's recap where each woman stand at the start of the season.
Kandi Burruss
Kandi and her hubby Todd Tucker are still basking in new parent bliss, with sweet little five-month-old Ace and his adorable smile. They're apparently also already potty-training him, which seems a little early, but who are we to judge? To each their own, right?
Phaedra Parks
Now that Apollo's firmly behind bars, Phaedra's gone and gotten herself a governess to help care for her two boys. Of course Phaedra can't just call it a nanny like everyone else. It's always something extra with this one. She also admits she won't date until her divorce is finalized, which is an issue because Apollo won't grant her one. It seems like when your husband proves himself to be a felon, this should be an easier process, no?
Porsha Williams
After her repeated instances of poor anger management, we get a glimpse of Porsha during a therapy session. She tells a sad tale about being bullied in middle school and reveals she once considered suicide. She tries to cry, but the tears never really come. The therapist seems pretty unimpressed.
Cynthia Bailey
Cynthia's serious about this split from Peter. She even visits her attorney who, when she declares her intention to file for divorce, asks, "You and Peter?" No, her and the other guy, genius. An awkward Facetime convo with Peter to ask about the whereabouts of their prenup pretty much makes her case. "Ask your mama where the prenup is," Peter says. "It's probably the same place the marriage license is." Please let this toxicity end sooner rather than later.
That, of course, leads up to Sheree and Kenya. After learning that Kenya has been living in Moore Manor despite only having a finished master bedroom and that Sheree's palatial digs only need furnishings and then they'll be ready for her, the former announced her plans to have a housewarming party in two weeks. Her contractor looked at her like she was nuts.
So, she began sending a creepy horse-drawn carriage around town to deliver invitations on purple plush pillows. Kenya, girl, when you're inviting people to come and eat some cheese in your dusty construction zone, a Facebook event invite will suffice.
Naturally, she didn't send one to Sheree. Why? "I would have gladly sent Sheree an invite by horse and carriage, but I don't know where she lives. It's not Chateau Sheree," she explained. I don't know if it's a tent in the woods or a cardboard box under the freeway, a halfway house. I don't know where to send it."
So, she called her friend and, while inviting her, also demanded she mind her manners at the manor. Sheree hung up on her mid-sentence.
The day of the party arrived and Kenya was hustling. "Nobody should throw any event when they're under this kind of stress," she said, as if someone was forcing her to hold this ill-advised event against her will or something.
As Sheree and Cynthia began complimenting their host for the work she'd accomplished, Kenya couldn't help herself and got a dig in. "It's been a long journey. I can't imagine what five years feels like," she said. Sheree, being the OG gangster that she is, wasn't just going to let that slide. "But this whole house is the same size of my, uh, master suite," she shot back.
Once Kandi and her friend Lena arrived, the ladies got the grand tour. Sheree was less than impressed. "Kenya's housewarming invite should've come with a hard hat, a dust mask, and a freaking fan," she said. "Most of the women there had titty sweat. The dogs had titty sweat too! That bitch living foul."
Of course, all titty sweat would be forgotten once Phaedra showed up with an uninvited Porsha. Sheree shimmied in excitement like Hillary Clinton at a presidential debate. Before Kenya could react, the episode ended. So nasty and so rude. To be continued.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
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