Randy Brooke/Getty Images for Kanye West YeezyToday was a legendary day for Kanye West fans. It's Yeezy Season Two Day! Otherwise known as Watch North West Wear Neutrals Day.
People like me, who shamelessly follow the rapper's every move, have been anticipating his second New York Fashion Week show for...several days. So it was a surprise announcement, but that doesn't mean we weren't all excited enough to last the normal amount of lead time.
The show debuted this afternoon and it was everything I thought it would be: Star-studded (what up Seth Meyers, who knew you were coming?), moody, militaristic, industrial and very-very mono-toned. It's clear that little Yeezy was never a fan of the brightly-colored Crayons. It's sure to get the same sort of mixed reviews that the first collection received because, well, it's basically the same thing except with even more nude bodysuits. But I loved it nonetheless! Because I am hopelessly devoted to Yeezus. Give me one of North West's sweatsuits in every color, please.
Which brings me to the real point: Now that the second season of duds has made its debut, it's time for Yeezy Season 1 to finally hit stores. The current rumor has items releasing in late October at Barneys, among other boutiques. Semi-regretfully, I am one of those suckers who saw the items displayed in Kanye's February show and decided that I must own them. Where will I wear a hole-ridden forest-green sweatshirt? Who cares. But I do know that I might stop breathing if that camo jacket isn't in my closet by the end of fall.
Dramatic? Yes. Understandable? Of course.
But then I saw the prices. The cost of Kanye's collection has long been speculated on, and we are now privy to the first hints of the real dollar amount, thanks to the recent spread in GQ, in which The Weeknd models a few pieces. The magazine is required to credit the clothes, and that's where the real shocker comes in. I suggest you sit down before reading this. That camo coat I'm so enamored with? $2,210. The hole-ridden sweater? $1,560. The hoodie, the vest and the flight jacket? $545, $1,170 and $3,250.
What. The. Bleep.
You have wronged me, Kanye, and you've wronged everyone else who was silly enough to think they could maybe afford to buy your "clothes for the people." Remember when you said that? Let me remind you, because I believe your exact words were "I think in clothing right now there's a real separatism, like there's a $5,000 sweatshirt and everybody spending that money to try and show up in the club and act like they big. We need to be spending that money on our families...people will try to put on a jacket to act like they're better than you, and I think this idea of being better is the wrong mentality in the first place."
Hm. I could have put on that camo jacket, and I could have been better than people, but you took that away from me. Because who da f has $2,000 for something that doesn't even keep you warm? Or $1,000 for something that doesn't even have sleeves? I've done a little bit of math (you made me do math, Kanye) and figured out everything I and anyone else who wants a chance to dress like The Yeez would have to give up to own just a teeny, tiny piece of the collection.
Paying rent. Here in this beautiful land I call Los Angeles, I'd have to squat illegally for two months to put that camo jacket in the closet I've just been evicted from.
Buying gas. For the cheapest item, a $400 thermal shirt, that's 100 gallons at your average gas station. But luckily walking is good exercise because...
Gym memberships. If you are one of those fools conned into paying for SoulCycle, you can probably afford Yeezy Season One anyways, but for good measure that's 50 classes for the ripped sweater.
Traveling anywhere. Never mind if it's your honeymoon or a trip home to see your ailing Great Aunt Vicki, the airport/train station/bus station/highway is officially off limits.
Buying any other clothes ever. But that's probably all part of Kanye's master plan to turn the entire world into one tan-colored Yeezy-wearing mass.
Food. And we hear this is kind of important and also scarce for a lot of people. Not to get all on a soapbox, Kanye, but you do know there are people in your very city who can't afford this? Just some, er, food for thought.
But maybe there is hope! Yeezy Season Two is an opportunity for a fresh (read: cheaper) start. Perhaps 'Ye will remember his humble promise to the people of America: To cloth them in clothing that they probably could have made out of a paper bag for a price less than your average starter home.