David Becker/Getty Images
by John Boone | Mon., Oct. 7, 2013 12:48 PM
David Becker/Getty Images
Over the weekend, Justin Timberlake's latest film, Runner, Runner, hit theaters. You may know it as the film in which he says, "Those are crocodiles," while staring at crocodiles. It did not do great.
Today, Variety published an op ed titled, "Why Justin Timberlake Should Stop Acting." In it, Runner, Runner was deemed "a spectacular box office flop" and J.T.'s acting in it was described as, "A lost celebrity hosting Saturday Night Live who can't find the teleprompter."
The piece concludes, "An artist who can rock the [VMAS] like Timberlake doesn't need a second mediocre career." While we wait for Mila Kunis to verbally bitch slap the Variety writer in Russian, we decided to weigh the pros and cons of Justin's big screen career, to decide if he really should quit acting.
Model Behavior: He played a model named Jason who was deeper than his centerfold-good-looks in this Disney channel original movie. It was the pinnacle of his acting career, according to us and every teen girl who saw it.
Shrek the Third: Timberlake's slightly nasal voice is easily identifiable, even coming out of Shrek's hesitant-to-be-king Arthur ("Artie"). But he's willing to get silly for a laugh. You don't have to be too proud when your voice is coming out of a cartoon.
Friends With Benefits: Timberlake's real-life persona could potentially be viewed as charmingly douchey. He plays up both of those qualities in this rom com. His chemistry with costar Mila Kunis is what makes it all work though. And his abs.
Alpha Dog: If you're picking up on a trend here, Timberlake is best when he's playing characters that he can relate to. Because that character basically is him. In Alpha Dog, Timberlake just plays a stoned mama's boy (see also: Justin Timberlake's episode of Punk'd).
The Love Guru: Justin's character is nicknamed "Le Coq." Because he has a big, well, we don't have to explain it to you. That's as funny as this failed Saturday Night Live skit of a movie gets. And Timberlake is just as unfunny, playing up a bad Quebec accent and apparently no sense of comedic timing. The good news: He can truthfully say he wasn't worse than anyone else in this flop.
Southland Tales: Timberlake plays a singing Iraq vet. And he's way over-the-top, which is saying something considering the whole movie is over the top. The good news: No one ever saw it.
Bad Teacher: Justin Timberlake is supposed to play the dreamy substitute teacher who ends up being a nerdy wimp. You never quite buy him in the role, if only because Timberlake's whole performance is based on stock "wimpy" voices and "nerdy" facial expressions.
In Time: If you've seen this movie, you know. If you haven't, keep it that way.
The Social Network: Justin may have been playing Napster creator Sean Parker, but really he was just playing Justin Timberlake. Which was fine, it didn't necessarily add to the movie, but it didn't take away from it either. The movie was nominated for Best Picture at that year's Oscars.
Whatever. Let him act if he wants to act. Who cares? Justin Timberlake does not care at all. And he is not going to stop acting because any critic tells him to stop acting. Do you know how much money he makes doing movies?
If you do think he should stop acting, there's an easy way to make that happen: Don't pay to see his movies.
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