Neil Patrick Harris, Emmy Awards, 2013

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Neil Patrick Harris just kicked off the 2013 Emmy Awards with his opening act. We expected a song and dance number, an outfit change, some pyrotechnics, perhaps. Here's what we got, by the numbers:

6,000 people in attendance

200 crewmembers

20 musicians

17 cameras

(All facts courtesy of NPH himself.)

4 previous Emmy host cameos (Jimmy Kimmel, Jane Lynch, Jimmy Fallon and Conan O'Brien).

Jimmy Kimmel encouraged NPH to take in the moment in case he wasn't asked back. Jane Lynch and NPH swapped some sexual tension. NPH told Jimmy Fallon tap dancing was "too gay." And Conan O'Brien ranted about how hosting has changed. 

"I hosted the Emmys twice. Twice when it meant something," he lamented. "Back when there was no Honey Bee Boo. There was no Internet! You had to pay for pornography! Those were the days, I tell you. Back then a host was a god!

3 mentions of twerking. See below.

2 ladies who stole the show, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

Emmys GIF

Sitting in the front row, the former Golden Globes hosts (who might just be returning to the gig next year) donned 3-D glasses and munched on popcorn as they heckled Neil.

Amy: "We got some advice!"
Tina: "Take your pants off! Twerk it!"
Amy: "Work that twerk!"
Tina: "I come to the awards shows for the twerking!"
Amy: "It might be degrading, but we would be de grateful!" 

Paula Deenjoke. There had to be one.

"For every Walter White, there's an Orange Is the New Black," Neil Patrick Harris joked. "Or as Paula Deen has to call it, Orange Is the New African American."

0 actual dancing.

We love NPH, but we feel a little let down that he ditched his usual pizzazz. Not even one musical number?! The best part of the opening was Tina and Amy. Sooo...can we cut out the middle man and just let Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host everything already? 

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