White House Responds to Star Wars Death Star Petition

Administration shoots down petitioners' request to construct a Death Star by 2016

Don't look to the White House to build a Star Wars-style Death Star any time soon.

Not even a "We the People" petition backed by more than 34,000 people, which urged the White House to focus the government's defense resources on securing "funding to build a Death Star by 2016," could convince the administration to construct the planet-destroying space station.

The White House shot down the request in a hilariously geeky statement titled, "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For."

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," Paul Shawcross, the chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House wrote. "Here are a few reasons: The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it. The Administration does not support blowing up planets. Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

Shawcross urged petitioners to look to the sky and "notice something already floating there," a space station.

"Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations," the statement continued. "We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers."

The statement went on to encourage petitioners to pursue a career in science, technology, engineering, or a math related field, saying "the Force will be with us," if they did.

"Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force," Shawcross quipped.

The "We the People"  online petition program started under President Obama to give citizens the opportunity to influence policy, with the administration vowing to respond to any petition that receives more than 25,000 signatures.