by Leslie Gornstein | Mon., Jan. 7, 2013 5:17 PM
Rule No. 1: Wear something that only Saudi princesses or Beyoncé can afford. Otherwise, go home.
Rule No. 2: No eating. Unless you want to be chubby like Gisele Bündchen.
Rule No. 3: Put on lots of winged eyeliner, like Rocha. If you don't know how to do that by now—and in your sleep—bitch, you're so not worthy.
Rule No. 4: There's a camera, smile, you idiot. OK, it's gone. Where were we? Oh, righ, stop looking at that vegetable tray. Naughty, naughty, you carrot gobbler, you.
Rule No. 5: See Karolína on the left there? She has a wrinkle on one of her fingers. Tell no one.
Rule. No. 6: Do your best to look like you really want to be at this fine NBC party for television critics in Pasadena. We're lookin' at you, Coco.