Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey

Kimberley French/Summit Entertainment

We know how much you naughty readers love—or should we say lust over?—talking about the oh-so-erotic Fifty Shades of Grey. But there's one person who doesn't seem as excited to break down the dirty little book…the author of Fifty Shade of Grey, E.L. James!

In fact, when E.L. sat down with Michelle Kosinski on The Today Show this morning, she said dishing on her horny characters Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey "is excruciating."

So what else does Ms. James have to share about thinking up her saga? And did she have anything to say about our dear Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, who inspired her to start writing the erotic tale?

"This is my midlife crisis—all my fantasies out there," E.L. giggled while discussing the book, in which a college gal meets a mysterious older man who ushers her into a life of S&M. And it seems she was very tapped into her fantasies for quite some time:

"Every day, every minute," she responds when asked how much time she spent writing Fifty. "I had a phone and I used to write on the train. I used to beam it into my Mac and then tidy it all up…I was obsessed. I didn't do anything else for two years."

Those must have been a très horny two years! And little did those other train passengers know what kind of naughty deeds were being dreamt up on their morning commute. Sure puts your sexting to shame, huh?

When asked whether she thinks her mommy porn is revolutionary, E.L. bursts into laughter, claiming, "No, absolutely not…I was amazed how popular it was, I'm still amazed. I'm stunned by its popularity."

And the very humble British lady was even willing to admit her faults in her writing, "I did this in a very undisciplined way. I'm a very undisciplined writer. It's really kind of raw, and, you know, I'm not a great writer."

Hey, at least it's refreshing that one of the authors of these much devoured franchises is willing to fess her faults, eh?

Speaking of, the entire topic of Twilight is completely skated over in the convo. Bummer too, because if E.L. got that giggly talking about Christian, we'd have loved to see how much she blushed discussing Robert Pattinson.

She is willing to discuss the domineering dude in her own work though, and whether he'd actually be the perfect man, explaining "That's really attractive on paper" and "I think in their fantasies, yes. In real life I think it's something very, very different. You want someone who does the dishes."

Well hey, if you're going to have a panty droppin' midlife crisis, might as well make millions off it, right?!

(E! and The Today Show are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)

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