Blind Vice Straight Sex

Dear Ted:
What's up with Lesley Grotto lately? Did his GF wise up to his bad boy ways?

Dear Less of Lesley:
Les' gal has wised up to his ways a bit, but she's still far from discovering the real bad boy behind Lesley's straight-edge persona. L.G. is excellent at maintaining a squeaky clean image.

Dear Ted:
From the Harriet Talons Blind Vice I got the impression that her character can't be killed off, meaning she's the (female) lead. From your recent mail reply, however, I got the impression that January Jones differs from Harriet in that Ms. Jones is too valuable to be killed off. So, can you clarify how indispensable Harriet's character is?

Dear Indispensable:
Harriet may be hated by her costars but her character is crucial to the show's success. But, that doesn't mean she's safe from the KO'd fate—I will say this is the kind of show where anything can happen.

Dear Ted:
I have an obvious hunch of who Harriet Talons may be. How about this, is she friends with diva Chiquita?

Dear Diva BFFs:
Unfortunately no, the two don't run in the same TV circle. But, that would be a match made in bitchy heaven.

Dear Ted:
With the long-awaited return of Mad Men, my mind is racing. Has Jon Hamm ever been a Blind Vice? I absolutely adore him (and Don Draper). Thanks for the gossip!

Dear Ham It Up:
Nope, but he has been running his mouth a lot as of late. I wouldn't be surprised if he starts to partake in some Vicey behavior as well.

Dear Ted:
On the topic of Billy Bend-Over, how about you write a Blind Vice on the director and how he decided who to cast in such an "iconic" role? I'm sure the studio would love to know that millions of dollars rest on who the director can get to service him. When the power playing field is not level, nothing is really consensual—color me disgusted!

Dear Dirty Director:
Sorry babe, but that's the way the wind blows in Hollyweird. Besides, it's so much more fun when a hunky actor is involved, doncha think?

Dear Ted:
I would be very disappointed if Harriet Talons was Anna Paquin. Please say it aint so.

Dear Talons on True Blood:
It ain't so.

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