Liam Hemsworth, Miley Cyrus

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Dear Ted:
It seems all the attention on Miley Cyrus' is-it-or-isn't-it ring has distracted people from noticing her shrinking frame in recent photos. Which has me wondering if this thinification is due to a diet and exercise…or Vicey, behavior modification?

Dear Think Again:
Miley's Vice never had to do with anything harmful to her killer bod (it's not even anything illegal, FYI). As for her vanishing waistline, peep the paparazzi pics of Ms. Cyrus and you'll see that she's at the Pilates studio like every friggin' day. Is the H'wood mindset that you have to be nearly nonexistent to be a hottie healthy? Probably not. But Miles is going about it in the most healthy way, at least.

Dear Ted:
I just saw the bikini pix of Nicole Richie in Miami and she looks fabulous. Haven't seen pictures of her and the husband together though and I don't see where he's on tour. Everything OK there? Could a breakup bring back any of Nic's Vicey ways, or has she outgrown them? Best to you & the girls.

Dear Quick Judger:
I love it when an old married couple (which is practically what Nicole and Joel Madden are at this point, by Hollywood standards, at least), are rumored to be in trouble just because they weren't seen slobbering all over each other at the latest celebrity fragrance launch, or something similar. Do you realize they have two young kids, one who's only months old? Not everybody can be Angelina Jolie—or Tori Spelling, even—and have a billion kids and be photo-op ready in seconds. Remember it's the norm not to, and, if you ask me, it says much healthier things about their marriage when there's less glitzy PR.

Dear Ted:
Has Toothy Tile ever hooked up with any other Vice stars…such as Crotch Uh-Lastic? Thanks.

Dear Incestuous Vicing:
Yes, but, not Crotch. I don't think anybody in his right mind (male or female) would hook up with Crotch these days, dude's what's known as a hot mess who's not so hot anymore. Too many chemicals!

Dear Ted:
Fellow Big-D survivor (LakeHighlands, not Highland Park) and longtime shelter supporter here. With all these babies percolating and popping out in Celeb World, I have a question for you. Based solely on their mothering skills (either actual or anticipated), how would you rank these She-Vicers: Cruella St. Shackles, Shafterella Shoshstein and Fake à la Ferocity? And just so you don't play coy, the order should be best to worst!

Dear Dallas Dame:
Number one, by far, would be Cruella. Not even a contest when compared with the others. Next would be more of a surprise: Shafterella (as she's so very good at peddling that mamacita image), then a distant third would be Fake a la, who really wishes she could prevent her kids from having some of the tough knocks she's endured.

Dear Ted:
In a recent post you said Olivia Wilde's BV has to do with a man. Now, Olivia got married at 19, so I'm assuming it has to do with her ex-husband, Tao Ruspoli. Or it could be Jason Sudeikis or it could be one of the many (rumored) hookups. So who is it?

Dear Wild For Wilde:
A combo of some of the above and someone not mentioned.

Dear Ted:
So I have a question is Hilary Duff a Blind Vice? And if so has it slowed down since the baby?

Dear Ice Cold:
Nope, so doesn't really apply.

Dear Ted:
My little rescue, Rascal, loves Jackie Bouffant more than anything in the world and is happy for him—his question, is the boyfriend a Vicer? And how did the BF become the lucky one to catch Jackie? Love Ya always.

Dear Love Ya Back:
Met through friends, totally not a celeb. So, it will probably last!

Dear Ted:
Is Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle Shailene Woodley?

Dear Great Guess:
No, but, awfully close, genre-wise. However, personally, I just don't think Chuck is nearly that pretty.

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