Blind Vice Single Guy

Dear Ted:
It seems Toothy Tile has kind off disappeared! Does he have a major film coming out in 2012? And what did you think of Crotch-uh-lastic's last movie?

Dear Guess Who's Back:
Yes, Toothy has new projects in the mix, so prepare yourselves for some deliciously Vicey behavior in the very near future (expect some Vice action, like, this Friday!). And I actually enjoyed Crotch's last film. Not sure about his par-tick performance, but I guess he held his own since no one really called him out for it. A rare feat for Crotch to accomplish, if I dare say so.

Dear Ted:
I realize she might not be the hottest Blind Vice subject, but what has Henrietta Hardball been up to lately? Is she a political TV personality or a politician who's been on TV? How's the marriage?

Dear Hard Ballin':
Henrietta's hardly pleased as of late—the media scrutiny surrounding her all-powerful self has only gotten worse. I will say she has strong political views, but the political world so isn't for her. As for the marriage? It's going swell—just like every other painfully fake union in this biz.

Dear Ted:
Is Dianna Agron in the midst of a love triangle with Sebastian Stan and Tim Tebow? And do any of the three have Blind Vices?

Dear Three's a Crowd:
I wouldn't trust the love triangle rumors—mostly because I can't imagine the Viceless Tebow falling for the very Vicey Di (though he would fit with a Vicey Taylor Swift, so who knows!). Then again, Stan's Vice-free too, so ya never know. Maybe Dianna has switched over to the good boys as of late.

Dear Ted:
Everybody loves my rescue, Mickey, but Mickey only loves you and Jackie Bouffant. His question—if you know the answer, I would like to know too—is when Jackie is away, does he trust the what-we-hear-is-hot-as-heck boyfriend? I don't cuss in front of Mickey. Love ya!
—Mickey and Mike

Dear Yes:
But who says they're apart much?

Dear Ted:
What's up with Shafterella Shoshstein these days? Anything new?

Dear the Bitch Is Back:
Vice-wise? Nothing too juicy (or, more likely in her case, totally evil). Could Shafty be turning a new leaf?! Don't count on it…

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