Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Michael J Fox Foundation

Dear Ted:
Holy Hotness! Just saw Ryan Reynolds in the black and white photo on People (for sexiest man alive), with some delicious rugged stubble. Yum! This for sure has to give him maybe an inch in the post breakup run with Scarlett. P.S.? What's with the choices for sexiest people alive? Some of those folks could be replaced by much sexier, maybe even less white people?

Dear The Ex Battles Heat Up:
It's a tough call who's winning in this post-divorce show-down. While Ryan did look super hot in the mag, we can't imagine he was too excited to see his ex jogging with Sean Penn. This battle is getting juicier by the day, and we can't wait to see who will throw the next pr punch. As for the sexiest people alive? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, doll! But we do think a few of our faves should have made the top of the list. And certainly some less white. Rihanna? J.Hudson? Michelle Obama?

Dear Ted:
I don't get it. You blast Hollywood stars who you think are too thin, which I think is great. But then you speculate that Scarlett Johansson is preggo just because there is an unflattering shot of her running? What's up? Please pick a side, because those of us who are normal and not sticks really appreciate how real you are when you talk about it being unhealthy.

Dear More To Love:
First off, those photos were very unflattering, and Scar's outfit didn't do anything to help (a stylist for the gym perhaps?). But really, we think Scarlett is gorgeous at any weight, we're just concerned if mini-Pennletts will be running around in the future. They'll make the Osbournes look sane.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied? Do you think they will last? I just read your last post about the drama between Sarah Lane and Millepied's ex-girlfriend; it seems as if he might be a bit fickle!

Dear Wedding Woes:
Honestly, if there is this much drama before the wedding even takes place, then it's not looking good. A rocky start usually doesn't mean a steady future. Just ask LeAnn Rimes.

Dear Ted:
I'm not a Kate Bosworth hater or anything, I just want her to step away from the Swede. You have to mention something about the way she blew off the children's charity event in NY to continue flashing her bewbs in Mexico. You can't let her slide on this; she gave her word that she'd be there! I'm counting on you, Ted.

Dear Skars Lover:
We couldn't disappoint you! Jetting off to Mexico alone certainly doesn't make us believe that Kate and Skars are going strong. But, we've cried this one before (many times).

Dear Ted:
I totally loved Ashley Greene! She seemed so genuine and nice. Is she being pitted against K.Stew now just because she's better at playing the Hollywood game or is there an actual feud brewing? Why can't we all just be friends!

Dear Green With Envy:
Sorry doll, but this biz is too cutthroat for everyone to "just be friends." Ashley is definitely better at playing the Hollywood game than Kris, and she knows it. 

Dear Ted:
Is Cookie Muncher Heidi Klum?

Dear Not So Munch:
Close. Been guessed. And no. 

Dear Ted:
Is Cookie Muncher, Camila Alves? I can totally see Matthew McConaughey watching that scene with a smirk on his face!

Dear Munching Matthew:
Nope, but we think Matthew would love to see that, as well. He's pretty kinky.

Dear Ted:
I was watching Oprah's SNL special, and was wondering about Chevy Chase. Obviously he is known for being the worst type of asshole in his SNL days, but has he changed? The Community cast can't say enough good things about him, but of course that could just be what they need to say to the press.

Dear No Chevy To Chase:
The Community cast has no reason to hide if they did hate Chevy. Our take? Dude grew up. He's been in the biz for years and it's exhausting to be an a-hole forever. Exhausting. Only Sean Penn seems to be able to keep that crap up for a lifetime.

Dear Ted:
Awesome go to Hollywood "real deal" man! Thank you for posting my email to you last week...you're such a sweetie! Ok, I'm going to guess yet again...and go with Elle McPherson for the Cookie Muncher because I suspect behind that pretty face is a sneaky little girl. Also...I can't get over this Sally and Percy deal..it has me up in arms as to who it is. Could it be Ashley Olsen and Justin Bartha? Or Kellan Lutz and AnnaLynne McCord...we never did really hear "why" they silently broke up. Hmmmm? Please Ted..spill the dish to me...you can even email me privately...I'll keep it on the down low!

Dear Lotsa Guessing:
Sorry, A, but these guesses are all wrong. Good tries, though. Particularly the latter.

Dear Ted:
Did you send a sympathy card to Reese Witherspoon when you read (I'm guessing) about how she sometimes sits in her car and cries about how she has no privacy and can't do normal things? I'm wondering if when you become a celebrity and achieve success in Hollywood you automatically lose the ability to have rational thought and sensitivity? Only an unbearable a-- who is super wealthy and could, in "reality" walk away and never have to work again, and have a normal life, if she/he so chooses, would make such an insensitive statement to the masses and expect sympathy. Na! It's probably just me.
Miss P

Dear Hallmark Moment:
Great idea, let's write that note together: Dear Reese: Our deepest sympathies on the loss of your head. And it was such a pretty one, too! Oh, well, at least you have Oscar's head to replace yours with. Love, Misses P and T.

WATCH: Tons More Truth, Lies & Ted

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