Natalie Portman, Elizabeth Taylor, Kate Winslet

Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Jason Merritt/Getty Images

It's only a matter of time. Readers are wondering about it; I hear it being discussed among movie execs in town: Who can play Elizabeth Taylor when the inevitable life story is made?

Sorry, but, we really don't think the most obvious choice, Angelina Jolie, the gal who's the front-runner for the next Cleopatra remake, is the best woman for the job. She'd do, mind you, but Angelina is so all about keeping her detractors (and, sometimes, fans) at bay.

Elizabeth ate those folks for lunch! So, who are the best candidates?

Natalie Portman With a few exceptions, Portman's got the right everything to pull off playing the fiery-yet-sometime-aloof Taylor, who won two Oscars in her lifetime. I mean, you should have seen Natalie backstage at the Oscars this year: total snotsville. Really had a 'tude on her (and for those who say give the girl a break, she was pregnant, I say three words: Catherine Zeta-Jones. That honey was about to drop a baby at any minute on Kodak's stage, when she won for Chicago, and she couldn't have been more thrilled).

The point is Portman doesn't play to reporters. Not one bit. Just like Taylor. Plus, she's got the right angular beauty (when Taylor was young) and she's not afraid to fight convention or go cuckoo (à la Black Swan), which, we assume, also means Portman wouldn't be afraid to gain weight for the heftier portions of Elizabeth's life. This is an absolute must. Whoever takes this role on, it has to be with complete gusto—'cause that's just how Elizabeth lived her life.

Kate Winslet Think about this one. It's a very different move, but a very clever one. Winslet's probably a more talented thespian than Elizabeth was, which means she could most likely make up for how she doesn't exactly resemble Taylor physically—she'd do it with her emotions. She's also born British, as was Taylor, and she can definitely do the voluptuous periods of Elizabeth's life in spades.

Also, Kate's proved she knows how to cause a little scandal. Her breakup with Sam Mendes right after she won her Oscar for The Reader would be super training ground for navigating the more titillating side of Taylor's life. Also, she's unafraid to go nude in front of the camera, and she's definitely got a salty side to her, a quality she has on Portman in spades.

Angelina Jolie: Only if absolutely necessary. Even though Angie's got the right occasional disdain Elizabeth could sport, the girl doesn't eat. Major problem with somebody taking on the notoriously hedonistic Taylor—although, she sure as hell knows a thing or two about seducing married men.

Of course, you realize there's also the delicious bad-movie arena to contend with, which is a must, because Elizabeth made some clunkers. Just rent Boom! If you don't believe me.

Which means: Bring on the cable jobs! E! Oxygen! Lifetime! Get going!

And our top three contenders for that category are Lea Michele, Megan Fox and...Lea Michele, again. Would be so brilliant. Elizabeth would be cackling in her Forest Lawn resting place, I assure you.

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